Posted on 12/14/2007 7:20:53 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Hahaha!
I bought that one too, for my great-nephew who’s seven. I didn’t know if it was too much book for him, but he really likes that kinda stuff so I thought “What the heck”. It looked like an interesting read.
Better song than that Serj Tonkian guy....too bad the video starts and stops like a scratched record.
LOL!
L O L (was snickering while in a work phone conference)
I can’t believe that no one has brought up the “Walter the Farting Dog” books!!! Wonderful illustrations, silly stories, and sure to upset most parents. I own the whole set!
The Christmas Party.
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November
RE: Christmas Party
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill
House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small
band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along.
And don’t be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa
Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00p.m.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no
gift should be over ?10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s
pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a
special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides
with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re
calling it our ‘Holiday Party’. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table...you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to
accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA
Only”, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle
this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the
Union Officials feel that ?10.00 is too much money and Management believe ?10.00
is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table, too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November
RE: The ******** Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pr*cks I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death”, as you so quaintly put it.
You’ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feeling, too. they scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!!
Hope you all have a rotten holiday * drink, drive, and die!
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th November
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
:)
Bump
Watch the pink dots rotate.....
Now look at the black cross in the center and green dots will appear....
stare long enough and all pink dots will disappear....
Yikes! Been staring at that too long!
Regards,
Well, even tho it is not Friday - I didn’t know where else to put it, and found it to be intriguing.
I had to post it somewhere - hope you can forward it on....
Did you stare long enough to get the circling green ball?
Yes, the pink balls turned green as soon as I looked at the X in the middle. You?
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