You Can't Make This Stuff Up Dept.: "Army sent after minks on the run" (squeek, squeek)

Reuters ^ | 10/29/07 | staff writer

[yankeedame]

BERLIN (Reuters) - Twenty German soldiers were deployed on Friday to help recapture around 17,000 minks on the run.

The animals had been let out from a mink farm into the eastern German countryside by unknown perpetrators, according to police in Stendal, 55 miles west of Berlin.

[Verginius Rufus]

If the minks are weasels, then they should get some monkeys to chase them (as in the nursery rhyme).

[USMCPOP]

[ricks_place]

Twenty German soldiers were deployed on Friday to help recapture around 17,000 minks on the run.

Its Weasel Season!

Dead or Alive!

[Lucius Cornelius Sulla]

Most members of the weasel family (except for Otters), are mean sons of guns. Skunks, Wolverines, ferrets, stoats. Remember the Spartan kid who stole a weasel, and hid it in his clothing, not letting out a peep while it bit him enough to kill him.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Sounds like something a Michigan Stater would do...

[Verginius Rufus]

Plutarch's version of the story (in his Life of Lycurgus, ch. 18) has a fox, not a weasel.

[Stoat]

Minks, yes I can believe it...they will immediately go to hippie clothing shops and buy Che! T-shirts, and then it's off to the coffehouses where they will sit around and smoke sissy perfumed cigarettes all day and complain about Castro's persecution by the West and how the Socialists and the Greens are not nearly far enough to the Left.  They'll listen to Chomsky on their Ipods and then go out and steal stuff when it gets dark, not because they need it but because they think that it is a 'revolutionary statement' to do so..  Minks are utterly worthless and are not to be trusted.

Stoats, on the other hand, if released from captivity would go out and either look for work or enlist in the Military.  Free time would be spent writing, causing good-natured trouble on the internet and having a very, very occasional single malt Scotch and a nice cigar.  Stoats are the ones that you want to have come along when your car is broken down by the side of the road, as we will not only fix your car but give you chocolate as well.

[coconutt2000]

They'll listen to Chomsky on their Ipods

The cheap, liberal bastards you're describing don't own iPods... iPods are too pop culture and hip for their retro, feel good, back to nature groove.

They'll sit around the coffee house, smoking their cheap, flavored cigarettes while banging on tiny little drums made out of all natural materials, non of them animal based.

[Atlantic Bridge]

Aren’t there more constructive duties soldiers could perform?

Not at all.

If these are North American mink, they could possibly wipe out the remaining European mink, which are on the endangered species list and are claimed to be one of the most endangered mammals in the world.

[Lucius Cornelius Sulla]

You are correct, a Spartan would be too much for a weasel to kill!

[Lucius Cornelius Sulla]

Stoats are the ones that you want to have come along

You are right, especially in winter when you could invite the to come in and sit by the fire and take off their heavy Ermine coats.