Replies

A Marine gets out of the Corps and begins to enjoy the American dream. However, when the War in Iraq comes around forty years later, he goes down to the recruiting station, and tells the recruiter, “I want in. I want to fight.”

The recruiter, however, declines the offer of service, saying, “I’m sorry, Gunny, but you’re just too darn old.”

“Fine,” the guy replies. “If that’s your attitude, I’ll go straight to the Pentagon. I have a friend there, and he’ll see I’m let in.”

So he goes to the Pentagon and tells his friend, “I want in. I want to fight.”

Once again, however, the response is the same, and his friend tells him, “Sorry, Gunny, but you’re just too darn old.”

“Fine,” the guy says once more. “In that case, I’ll buy a boat and row to Iraq.”

So he goes out and buys himself a rowboat and starts rowing to Iraq, chanting, “Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!” over and over again.

St. Peter sees all this and reports to his Boss, saying, “What should I do to stop this hard-charging Marine?”

“Peter,” comes the answer, “you should take his brain; it’s the source of all his thoughts.”

So St. Peter takes the guy’s brain, but it doesn’t faze him. On and on he rows, chanting, “Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!”

“Now what!” exclaims St. Peter.

“Peter,” comes the answer, “why don’t you take his heart? It’s the seat of all his emotions.”

So St. Peter takes the guy’s heart, but it doesn’t faze him. On and on he rows, chanting, “Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!”

“Now what!” blurts St. Peter.

“Peter,” comes the answer, “take his gonads.”

So St. Peter lops off the guy’s gonads.

Immediately the guy stops rowing, looks around himself in confusion, begins to row his boat in circles, and commences chanting, “Off we go, into the wild blue yonder...”