Doesn’t that fall into the “Land of Enchantment” category?
Or maybe it’s more like, “Disneyland East?”
I received email from the grand Pubah of Facilities with this subject line:
"Voluntary surrender of desktop printers and fax machines..."
The body of the email contained the following bribe:
As a follow-up to the deployment of Multi-Function Devices (MFDs), Facilities is asking all employees with personal desktop printers and fax machines to turn them in as part of the cost saving associated with the MFD program and receive a small token of appreciation.
During the voluntary surrender period (August 15 - September 15, 2007) each site will be eligible as follows:
1. *The first 30 volunteers receive a cafeteria lunch voucher for $7, plus 6 CFL energy efficient light bulbs.
2. All volunteers during this period will receive 6 CFL energy efficient light bulbs.
Oh, be still, my beating heart! SIX -- cout them -- SIX -- compact fluorescent light bulbs! Oh, the untold ECSTASY!!
Of course, I can see the future, now:
JACKBOOTED THUG: "Hand over the printer and nobody gets hurt!"
QUAILING CUBE JOCKEY: "URK! Uh, er, well, okay. Here. Just take it."
THUG: "Hey, no hard feelings, buddy. You didn't score the lunch coupon, but here are some CFL's for ya."
CUBE JOCKEY: "Uh, isn't this about the environment?"
THUG: "Yeah, of course. Why?"
CUBE JOCKEY: "These CFL's contain mercury; if I use them at home, I have to treat them as HazMat when they finally burn out. And God forbid one gets broken, it'll cost me $2000 to have my house remediated!"
THUG: [lowering voice]: "That's YOUR problem, and if you know what's good for you, you'll keep all that to yourself and just smile, and say 'Thank you, Sir.'"
CUBE JOCKEY: "Uh, er, well... Okay. Uh, thanks...Sir. I guess."
This may be just the motivation I need to dig my nominally functional EPSON Stylus 760 out of mothballs, tune it up, and use it in my office.