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To: sionnsar; A CA Guy; airborne; Allegra; Baraonda; clamper1797; Darkchylde; Darksheare; ...

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES.” You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore;

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1 She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” - She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”

2. She is not “EASY” - She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”

3. She is not a “DUMB BLOND” - She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”

4. She has not “BEEN AROUND” - She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”

5. She does not “NAG” you - She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”

6. She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” - She is a “LOW COST PROVIDER.”

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a “BEER GUT” - He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”

2. He is not a “BAD DANCER” - He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”

3. He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” - He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”

4. He is not “BALDING” - He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”

5. He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” - He develops a case CRANIAL-RECTAL INVERSION.”

6. It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants - It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”


1,128 posted on 08/14/2007 7:07:49 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I had a lazy eye when I was a kid and it gradually spread to my whole body. ~~ Tom Cotter)
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To: Monkey Face

I always appreciate your wonderful humor.. thanks for ping!


1,129 posted on 08/14/2007 7:48:39 AM PDT by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: Monkey Face

LOL!


1,131 posted on 08/14/2007 8:09:29 AM PDT by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Monkey Face

Good morning. Another hot day. We’ve been to Wal-mart.


1,135 posted on 08/14/2007 8:50:30 AM PDT by Tax-chick (All the main characters die, and then the Prince of Norway delivers the Epilogue.)
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To: Monkey Face
HI, Face!

rotflmRao!

free dixie HUG/SMOOCH,sw

1,146 posted on 08/14/2007 9:39:44 AM PDT by stand watie ("Resistance to tyrants is OBEDIENCE to God." - T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: Monkey Face

LMBO!!


1,151 posted on 08/14/2007 10:08:38 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker ( Hunter/Thompson/Thompson/Hunter in 08! "Read my lips....No new RINO's" !!)
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To: Monkey Face

You know, there are others....

HOW TO SPEAK POLITICALLY CORRECTLY ABOUT URBAN FOLKS

He’s not from “DA HOOD,” he’s from a “LOW COST REGION.”

He doesn’t drive a “JUNKER,” the car is “ECONOMICALLY ACCESSIBLE.”

That isn’t “GRAFFITI,” it’s a “PUBLIC ART EXHIBITION.”

He’s not “HOOKED ON DOPE,” he’s “CHEMICALLY DEPENDENT.”

They don’t “LIVE IN THE SLUMS,” they are “ACCESSING STATE SUBSIDIZED LOW-INCOME HOUSING.”

That’s no “BUM,” that’s a “DISPLACED PERSON.”

That stuff all over the streets isn’t “LITTER,” it is “EVIDENCE OF AMERICAN CAPITALIST ANTI-ENVIRONMENTAL EXCESS.”

Oh, sorry. Worng list. Most of this stuff isn’t funny; it’s REAL.


1,155 posted on 08/14/2007 11:53:34 AM PDT by HKMk23 (Nine out of ten orcs attacking Rohan were Saruman's Uruk-hai, not Sauron's! So, why invade Mordor?)
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