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To: governmentstillsucks

Good Luck!


1,127 posted on 08/13/2007 9:24:28 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (The Ski Haus sign says, "See You Next Fall!" -- Orthopedics Clinic next door, the sign says "Ditto!")
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To: sionnsar; A CA Guy; airborne; Allegra; Baraonda; clamper1797; Darkchylde; Darksheare; ...

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES.” You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore;

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1 She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” - She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”

2. She is not “EASY” - She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”

3. She is not a “DUMB BLOND” - She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”

4. She has not “BEEN AROUND” - She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”

5. She does not “NAG” you - She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”

6. She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” - She is a “LOW COST PROVIDER.”

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a “BEER GUT” - He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”

2. He is not a “BAD DANCER” - He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”

3. He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” - He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”

4. He is not “BALDING” - He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”

5. He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” - He develops a case CRANIAL-RECTAL INVERSION.”

6. It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants - It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”


1,128 posted on 08/14/2007 7:07:49 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I had a lazy eye when I was a kid and it gradually spread to my whole body. ~~ Tom Cotter)
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To: NicknamedBob; sionnsar
Any new literary projects, Bob? I have missed the interplanetary voyages, though I can say that I've become homesick whilst being home.

Sionnsar has the new September thread ready to go, right?
1,932 posted on 08/24/2007 11:14:23 PM PDT by governmentstillsucks
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