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Good thoughts, this is a little silly.

Redneck Bumper Stickers
You're An EXTREME Redneck
When.....
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Warm, Wonderful and Wishful

Summer daze, those oh so wonderful long hot days
when dreaming in the hammock was such fun
and you’d holler “How about a beer here, Hon
and she’s just look at you from her rest never fazed

Mowing away and the lovely smell of new cut grass
carried on the breeze of coming evening sweet
and sparrows flit among the bushes oh so fleet
and you drink in the moments like a wine with sass

Green growing things about you a canvas of life
and you love this palette of nature oh so very grand
for it shows the subtle nature of the Master’s hand
and you forget all your woes and over-rated strife

Ha ha ha, LOL, thanks for the laughs. I'm just getting back into country music somewhat, so your country jokes are perfect! Country music adds a nice contrast to my life in this small town, which is in Taiwan, of course, but has a very country feel.

Lots of farmers, people park flatbed trucks around town (and hang up light bulbs run by generators) and sell all kinds of produce, often "exotic" fruits. Plus, while other Chinese would sooner die than drive an old car ("face", you know), but down here there are lots of clunkers.

Adds to the country feel, so I guess that's why I've been into country lately.

Here are my particular favorites from your list:

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.