Posted on 06/08/2007 5:34:47 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
SILLY CELEBRITIES
AND THEIR DRAMA
Since most of them are liberal nutjobs and seem to be the main focus of the Main Stream Media, why should we care about real news? They are more entertaining anyway, right?
What with Paris being let out of jail...
In another example of the mockery called our justice system, a therapist who visited Paris reportedly recommended she be released for “medical reasons”.
The Los Angeles County Sheriffs Dept. could not release any specifics due to confidentiality laws. However, reports indicate she had been crying and was depressed while in prison. (boo freakin hoo)
After serving a whole five days, Paris will be under house arrest for 40 days. (Now that's what I call punishment....NOT!)
And Lindsay Lohan and her partying....
A few days after her DUI arrest, she was photographed in this comatose state after a night of partying. Reports indicate she is back in rehab (since it worked so well the first few times). You think she’s pushing the envelope now…just wait until she turns 21 (in about a month)…then she’s really gonna let loose.
There there's Hasselhoff's drinking binge...
In the video (click pic), you can see an apparently inebriated Hasselhoff, clad only in blue jeans, lying on the floor of a room and clumsily eating a hamburger while one of his daughters reprimands him about his drinking.
And who can forget Brittney's melt down?
The Toxic star, who spent a month in rehab earlier this year,
was carried out of an L.A. bar sobbing and covered in vomit.
And then we have Brangelina shopping for baby #5.
Some people collect stamps, coins, stray cats….Brad and Angelina collect babies.
And Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuocco are dating again? WTF?
15 years after their affair ended with Amy shooting Joey’s then-wife, Mary-Jo, in the face. The new “relationship” will be turned into a reality show. (oh yay!)
“Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?”
~ Paris Hilton
*Dallas Air Traffic Control*
*Dallas ATC:? “Tower to Saudi Air? 811—You are
cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R.”
Saudi Air: “Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge
cleared to land on infidel’s runway 9R -Allah be
Praised !!”
Dallas ATC “Tower to Iran Air 711—You are cleared
to land westbound on runway 9R.”
Iran Air: “Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to
land on infidel’s runway 9R. -Allah is Great !!”
Pause: Static.............
Saudi Air: “DALLAS ATC! ? DALLAS ATC!!!”
Dallas ATC: “Go ahead Saudi Air 811?”
Saudi Air: “YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR
THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!!
WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS
PLEASE!!!
Dallas ATC: Well bless your hearts.
Y’all be careful now and tell Allah
“hey” for us — ya hear?.*
3 items for the checkout clerk:
condoms
butcher knife
band-aids
Tank of helium...
48-pack of condoms...
Batman mask...
Copy of “How To Be Your Own Best Friend”
Which Search Engine does Arnold Schwarzenegger use?
Alta Vista baby.
Buckwheat of the Little Rascals fame grew up, became a Muslim, and changed his name.
He now goes by Kareem of Wheat.
How did Captain Hook die?
He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!!
Barbie
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. ‘How much is that Barbie in the window?’, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, ‘Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. ‘
The guy asks, ‘Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?
‘That’s obvious,’ the assistant states, ‘Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture... ‘
Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces.
Q: What’s the difference between a Muslim and a dead horse?
A. It’s no fun beating a dead horse.
Q. What’s the difference between an American BBQ and an Islamic BBQ?
A. In America, Humans roast animals over a fire. In Islam, it’s the other way around.
Q. What do you say to a Muslim with his arm all the way up a camel’s rump?
A. “Having car trouble?”
Q. What’s the difference between Cindy Sheehan and a terrorist enemy?
A. I don’t know either.
Q. What’s the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.
The Pakistani replies, “I am just sitting here on the toilet like you instructed to do and every time I am making to flush, something comes up and squeezes dearly on my poor testicles.”
His boss looks at what he’s sitting on and says, “You idiot. You’re sitting on the mop bucket!”
A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, “Don’t do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind.” The child says, “Abu, I’m over here.”
Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.
Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
Neither did I.
Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What’s toilet paper?
Q. What do Muslim men do during foreplay?
A. Tickle the goat under the chin.
Here are a few tasteless jokes even al-Qaeda can appreciate:
Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you.
Did you hear about the prostitute who came out of a bar and was stoned? She didn’t survive.
Did you hear about the greatest bash they ever had in Bali? Everyone was bombed. (this last one makes Bin Laden roll on the floor, pee in his robe, and kiss his goat)
Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you.
bump
Congratulations on your grandnephew! He’s sure goin’ at that bottle!
The makeup people on 'The View' do an AWESOME job on Rosie, don't they? Here's what she REALLY looks like!
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