Well, the note said "Mrs. Johnson, your SUV has a sticker praising Bush.
It's reported you've attended Bible studies and are listening to Rush
And we don't believe you ought to be a bringin' up your little girl this way."
And it was signed by the Secretary, Harper Valley PTA.
Well, it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson brought her .22 into the room.
And as she walked up to the blackboard I can still recall the words she had to say.
She said "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA."
"Well, there's Bonnie Taylor sittin' there and seven times she's asked me for a date.
And I would tell her where to go but she'd just claim I had done a crime of hate.
And Mister Baker, can you tell us why your babysitter had to leave this town?
And shouldn't Greta Jones stop lying that the polar bears will all completely drown?"
"Well Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he's out with his new boyfriend he calls 'Seth'.
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find that she's been dabbling in meth.
And then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I'm not fit.
Well this is just a PC loonyland and you're all Harper Valley nitwits."
No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way.
The day my momma punked the asses of the Harper Valley PTA.
The day my momma punked the asses of the Harper Valley PTA.
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I know this could be better, so give it your best shot.
Just looking at the scansion (fit of words with rhythm) I’d change “SUV” to “pickup” or “Hummer.”
In the 4th verse, I’d use “claim THAT I had done a crime of hate.”
In the last verse, you need a 3-syllable word in place of “nitwits.”
(Gol-lee this makes me feel old!)
This looks like a job for Doug from Upland
Calling Doug, Doug report to this thread please...LOL
Can you sing at all?