These are all true excuses! (I’ll bet you don’t even have running shoes ...)
Going back to the ongoing thread on good religious etiquette, I think that one of the most important skills is to back out of an argument when somebody’s going ballistic.
If you’ve genuinely been in error, or said something you didn’t intend, then a genuine retraction is in order. However, even if the response to your post is excessive or irrational, it’s still useful to pull back, deploying a Flimsy Excuse if necessary.
You would be wrong! I have two pairs of New Balance (one almost new; the others are my favorites) and an old pair of Nikes. They mostly see the floor of taverns, however...and football stadia...and tailgate parties...and (well, you get the picture.)