Ugly Woman
Ugly woman, walking down the street
Ugly woman, I hope we never meet
Ugly woman, I don’t believe you, it must be true
No one could look as gross as you
Mercy!
Ugly woman, stay away from me
You burn my eyes, so I cannot see
Ugly woman, they beat you with the ugly stick
You make me nauseous and sick
If my dog looked just like you
I’d shave his butt that’s what I’d do
And make him walk backwards away from you
Ugly woman, no no no
Ugly woman, go go go
Ugly woman, go away from me
Ugly woman, just go away
Ugly woman, don’t want you to stay
Ugly woman, just walk away-ay
Ok
Yeah that’s the way it must be ok
I need to go on home it’s late
I'll have another more beer,
But wait!
What do I see?
Is she walking back to me?
Oh, she’s walking back to me!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaugh!!!!!!!
UGLY WOMAN!
A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe.
So she had an idea of how to handle it! She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.
Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.
The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out,following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew. She did this for the whole week.
As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?"
Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is".
The friend said, "Well, who is she?"
"That's just Shirley Goodnest", Timmy replied, "and her daughter Marcy."
"Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us"?
"Well", Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!"