I say, I say, We don't need no stinkin' badges.
Posted on 03/30/2007 4:40:30 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Marie Antoinette said that feeding the peasants was a piece of cake.
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes on Free Republic.
Nice. Real nice
The retired track official has started forgetting things. He has old timer's disease.
A man walked into a chimney store and asked 'How much for this one?'. The salesman replied 'It's on the house.'
I met some cult members who worshiped soup serving utensils. I said, 'Oh ye of ladle faith.'
So, how's the flower business going? Oh, it's blossoming quite nicely.
Many descendants of early Mexicans have the kinds of jobs one would expect - as techs.
Hey, this is the silliness thread, not the broken picture link thread...... :-)
LMAO!!!!
Rudy Giuiliani, Mitt Romney, and John McCain are on a plane together. They are flying to their first debate, and having a discussion of the important issues.
Their argument is interrupted by an announcement by the captain that the plane has run out of fuel and is going to crash.
Then they are told there is only one parachute for the three of them, so they are going to have to decide which one gets to live.
But then the plane nosedives and crashes.
Ah, the smart filter restrictions have struck again.....
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A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the husband out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he is in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He has probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he could kill us both. Be strong, honey I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey... I love you, too.
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