[Sax]

O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"

[girlscout]

An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says, "It's time". So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stands up, again falls flat on his face and decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.

At his door, he again tries to stand upright, falls and finally crawls through the door into his bedroom.

Reaching his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright, but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly.

"So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on an innocent look.

"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there."