Posted on 03/16/2007 8:05:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
We celebrate Saint Patrick's Day each year on March 17th. The festive holiday has everyone wearing green (so they don't get pinched) and chatting of four leaf clovers, shamrocks, lucky leprechauns, drinking green beer and kissing some big rock called a blarney stone.
Want to be lucky this St. Patrick's Day? Follow this advice:
1. Find a four-leaf clover.
2. Wear green (so you don't get pinched).
3. Kiss the blarney stone.
4. Catch a Leprechaun if you can.
5. Drink as much green beer as your heart desires.
6. And don't forget that corned beef and cabbage.
"May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow and may trouble avoid you wherever you go!"
-Irish Blessing
The Irish should be rich because their capital is always Dublin.
Those are used to summon things.
Horrible things.
Happy St. Patrick's Day! |
![]() To: Lucky9Teen From: Sax |
So, does this come with a virtual buzz?
It seem an old rabbi, in seeing his son graduate from high school, wanted to know what be the youths plans. He called the son into his study and questioned him. "Son, I vish to know, what kind of career are you going to have"?
The rabbi laid on a table three items, a $100 bill, a fifth of Jamesons and the good book. He looked to the boy and said, " Ve need to know your future. If you take the $100 bill, you will become a gambler, and that is very terrible. If you take the fifth of Jameson's, you will become a drunkard and that too is very, very bad. But...If you take the good book, you will become a rabbi, like you Papa.
The young lad's mind was blank. He was just out of high school and he did not yet know what he wanted to do with his life. After a few minutes of trying to think, he finally decided there was only one answer. The boy took the $100 bill and put it in his pocket. He picked up the Jameson's in one hand and with the other grasped the good book, put it under his arm and quickly left the room.
The old rabbi was stunned. He could not understand what had just happened. Then all of a sudden his eyes grew wide, he jumped to his feet, and slapping the side of his face he cried, "Oy Vay... He is going to become a Catholic Priest!"
LOL!
You're 90% Irish |
![]() There's hardly anyone more Irish than you! |
An Irishman named O'Leary, who loved to sing as he worked, bought a mule to farm his garden. The mule worked well but was almost totally deaf. So, when his owner yelled, "Whoa!", the animal often continued plowing. Asked how the mule was working out, O'Leary shook his head. "There was a time," he said, "when all the neighbors could here was me singing my lilting melodies." "Lately, I'm afraid, they've heard nothing but .... my riled Irish whoa's!"
Their constant conflicts must some day lead the Irish to see .... the Eire of their ways.
But for those of us watching our figure grow, here's a recipe for ya!
BACON, CHEESE AND BEER DOG
Ingredients:
1 hot dog
1 slice of thick-cut bacon
1 can of spray cheese
1 can beer (It doesn't matter what kind, but we recommend something dark. Corona probably isn't a good idea)
1 cup flour
Oil for frying
Instructions: This one is a little work-intensive, so be ready to buckle down. First take the center out of the hot dog with an apple corer, if you have access to one. If not, just cut out the middle with a knife. Fill the cavity with the spray cheese and use the hot dog you removed from the middle as a cap to keep the cheese in. Wrap the bacon around the hot dog and deep-fry for two to four minutes or until bacon is cooked. Dab them dry with a paper towel (so the batter will stick). Mix the beer with the flour until it reaches a thick, but lump-free consistency. Dip the dogs in the batter, coating the dog completely, and deep-fry on high heat for two to three minutes or until brown and deadly. NOTE: Don't fry them too long or all of the cheese will explode out into the oil. That's very bad.
What's that from?
Lura, the Countess of Killarney, was on a world tour with her husband, the Count. They were staying at an Intourist hotel on the edge of the Ural Mountains and were scheduled to begin an escorted horseback tour of the area early the next morning. Lura had developed a good tan a month earlier on the beach at Nice, but now she noticed that it was beginning to fade. Not having anything scheduled after lunch, she took a blanket and wandered off in search of a secluded spot where she could touch up the tan a bit. Unfortunately, Lura failed to realize that at high attitudes the rays of the sun were much more damaging than at sea level. Even worse, she fell asleep. She awoke, feeling rather uncomfortable. Dressing gingerly, she limped back to the hotel to have her husband assess the damages and the prospects for the morrow. After one look he delivered his verdict: .... "Tour all Ural, Lura? Too raw, Lura. Lie."
The Irish .... An English-piquing people.
No kidding.
I'm thirsty now, thanks.
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