Posted on 03/14/2007 11:20:55 AM PDT by Mo1
DRIVING IN NW ARKANSAS
If your NW ARK map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.
If you're in Rogers or Bentonville and your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. NW ARK has its own version of traffic rules.
All directions start with "Get on 540" which has no beginning and no end. Everything in NW ARK is "just off 540 or 71B."
The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.
Construction on 540 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
All unexpected or strange sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Lowell."
If someone actually has a turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
All old ladies with blue hair in tank cars have the right of way. PERIOD.
Highway 540 in rush hour is the NWA equivalent of NASCAR. Just shut up and drive like the rest of us.
The minimum acceptable speed on 540 is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
If it's 90 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and snowing, it's homecoming at U of A. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, and it's a Saturday, it's opening day for garage sales. If it is fall Bikes, Blues and BBQ is going on everywhere at all times.
All parks, stadiums, arenas, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.
With these simple rules in mind, you are now ready to drive in NW ARK.
Please try and keep up
Just trying to be helpful. 
Andrea Bocelli (and Dolce Dulce Pontes)
& Restaurant is an old-style European chateau nestled in the foothills of MidwayPoor Nully, he would feel really nervous there Dog -- the place must be crawling with all those furriners.
I know how he feels, the whole damn world is full of 'em. Furriners and worse, east of the Rockies. And to think they may be setting up shop in Utah - that really is too much to much to bear.
I sympathise with him, I have been surrounded by furriners for more years than I can count – even got one in the family – even though she has 3 passports it is just more confusing.
I have that too, but I like Sarah Brightman
I have none of her songs....I’m sure I know some, but can’t think of any at the moment. I’ve got to run, but will look her up later and see which ones I recognize.
Have a nice one, Cardhu.
Darling Daughter is off to Oz-try-ya, with her boyfriend and his African dad...
I hope she doesn´t come back with any of those Euroweenie ideas.
Mine is buying furniture in Malta.
That is worse as Malta bestrides the European and Islamic cultures. I understand if you can speak Maltese you can speak Lebanese the languages are quite similar.
As soon as they have a bed and a chair for me I will be going there to take some pics.
Dear Sweets, I do try to be humble but as soon as I was told how the Rias of Galicia were created I found it difficult to restrain myself.
Long, long ago when the world was being formed the good Lord slipped and put down his right hand to save himself and his fingers formed the Five Rias of Galicia. Now, as any real estate agents will tell you – location, location, location. And what better location can one want.
So you can understand sweets that it is hard to be humble when you sit on the right hand of Ghod.
PS. These country folk lie a lot too...
She’s matriculating at UC Santa Cruz. Ozzzz is far less liberal. (They didn’t forget the Bali Bombings)...
Should I print out a copy?
...and save my bacon grease?
And you're okay with this??
Too late. Her mom is a flaming liberal. We all make mistakes.
As near as I can tell his dad comes from good solid Boer stock, Dutch, like my Darling Daughter’s male genetic source.
She’s getting back to her Roots...
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