Posted on 02/25/2007 2:00:05 PM PST by Lil'freeper
**WARNING: GRAPHICS INTENSIVE THREAD**
You love them, you hate them, you love to hate them. Hollyweirdos, those wacky leftists who gather together for the annual group hug known as the Oscars. And how fun it is to heckle and razz them as they parade down the red carpet posing for the cameras, granting vapid interviews to equally vapid interviewers, too serious about making their political statements and social commentaries to realize the joke's on them. No one watches their movies. Just look at box office receipts. The money makers are the family films - the ones take it easy on social commentary and political statements. No one gives a flip about their art. They are such sad cliches - dozens of little emperors who have yet to realize they're wearing no clothes. And that's why they're SO FUN!
Speaking of clothes...
Nominations open for the following categories.
| 7. The Simon Cowell "What The H311 Is That" Award Also known as the Just Say No To Drugs Certificate of Achievement Given to celebs who listen to drug abusing stylists. |  |
| 6. The All Washed Out Award For perfectly nice looking celebs sporting a sickly monochromatic look. |  |
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| 5. The Morticia Medal of Merit For perfectly nice looking celebs that think goth is cute. Also for unnatural and extremely artifical hair colors. |  |
| 4. The Dude, Your Mother Dresses You Funny Award For male celebs that shouldn't be allowed to pick out their own clothes. |  |
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| 3. The Treasure to Trash Award For the perfectly nice looking celebs that choose to wear garbage bags. Also for the most creative use of recycleable materials in a garment. |  |
| 2. The Sheer Overexposure Award For when next to nothing is left to the imagination. | 
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1. The Bjork Award The outfit that causes such severe psychological trauma that viewers are scarred for decades or for outfits that resemble animals (whole or in part). |
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Nominations will be accepted throughout the evening for the following awards:
 1. Lavender Oscar: For the individual(s) whose contributions to film and the events of the evening serve to further undermine traditional American values. |
 2. Red Oscar: For the individual(s) whose contributions to film and the events of the evening serve as a reminder of just how Anti-American the Hollyweirdos are. |
 3. The Britney: For the individual(s) whose contributions to film and the events of the evening serve to illustrate just how far down it really is to rock bottom. |
Tonight's Convenient Truth Weather Conditions:
Tonight's Convenient Truth Weather Forcast:
Looks like Rachel put an extra Kleenex down the front of her dress. Very odd looking lump in front. Very odd.
LOL! It could have been worse I guess.
It could happen.
Kirsten - another nominee for All Washed Out. And dang that girl needs to eat something.
Picture this...
The theme music for The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly begins to play.
Clint enters, stage right, dressed as in the film complete with poncho, spurs, and week old beard.
Blondie proceeds to clink across to the front of the stage, stops, then slowly lights up his cigar, blowing smoke at the audience.
He flips his poncho over one shoulder displaying his six-shooter.
Looking down to the front row of the audience the camera follows his vision.
There sitting in the front row are all the other directors up for the best director award.
Blondie speaks:
"There are two kinds of people in the world, those with loaded guns and those who dig."
He picks up a shovel conveniently placed on stage and tosses it to Scorsese.
Cue the DA-DA-DA-DA-DA from the theme music.
That would be the creative way to honour Morricone, but you won't see that tonight because the anti-smoking, anti-firearm, PC police would never allow it.
And there in a nutshell is why Hollywood is D.O.A..
Yuck--Spike Lee. What a horrible little man.
Every time I see Celine Dion I think of her saying "let them touch these things, just once!" (Talking about Katrina looters....) Gag.
'specially the poncho.
But is he shorter than Seacrest?
I do like this family - mostly because they are a *family*. Will Smith cracks me up. What a jolly, good guy. But honestly, someone needs to explain to Jada's dressmaker that you're supposed to put *fabric* over the top of the boning.
At least motherhood has added some meat to Gwyneth's bones.
Jada looks like an Oscar. The little guy is a cutie.
Will Smith would be hard not to like. But I heard from my daughter that his movie was depressing to the max in spite of his performance.
Does anyone else think Penelope Cruz is ugly? Not Elephant Man ugly, but not too attractive IMO.
Running out to eat folks--when do the festivies start? See you in a few.
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