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The "Official" Friday Silliness Thread - FREE FOR ALL
http://www.caughtatwork.net/ ^ | February 23, 2007 | Lucky9teen

Posted on 02/23/2007 6:12:56 AM PST by Lucky9teen

Official Friday Silliness Thread Ping List
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It's a Free-For-All Friday Silliness Thread. Post whatever your heart desires (within FR limitations) to help the day flow along. Keep it goofy, silly and humorous and have fun. After all, I'm sure none of us want to be "working", so hopefully we can push this thread beyond it's limits (and posts) and make something of it. Come on people....let's make the OFST what is used to be. And I mean, none of this 85 post stuff. I'm talking 500 or more. ;p


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: freeforall; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen
TEE-GEE-EYE-FREAKIN'-EFF!

Lets blow this test and head for the beach!



41 posted on 02/23/2007 7:17:40 AM PST by SquirrelKing (_8 ( ])
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To: Lucky9teen; LongElegantLegs; trussell
Just for the moms here....


42 posted on 02/23/2007 7:19:26 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: SquirrelKing

With a nod to the newest Windows operating system, Vista.

Gates vs. GM

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."




In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following charac teristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced! by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


43 posted on 02/23/2007 7:30:16 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15)
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To: Lucky9teen; AZamericonnie; Old Sarge; 2LT Radix jr; Radix; Kathy in Alaska; kjfine; HiJinx; ...


44 posted on 02/23/2007 7:31:40 AM PST by tomkow6 (........pickin' my nose, bit by bit......)
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To: Lucky9teen
The Cast (in order of appearance.)
M= Man looking for an argument
R= Receptionist
Q= Abuser
A= Arguer (John Cleese)
C= Complainer (Eric Idle)
H= Head Hitter

M: Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
R: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
M: No, I haven't, this is my first time.
R: I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
M: Well, what is the cost?
R: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
M: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.
R: Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment.
Pause
R: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory.
Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
M: Thank you.

(Walks down the hall. Opens door.)

Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: Well, I was told outside that...
Q: Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
M: What?
Q: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I'm not going to just stand...!!
Q: OH, oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Q: Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Q: Not at all.
M: Thank You.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!

(Walk down the corridor)

M: (Knock)
A: Come in.
M: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
A: I told you once.
M: No you haven't.
A: Yes I have.
M: When?
A: Just now.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't
A: I did!
M: You didn't!
A: I'm telling you I did!
M: You did not!!
A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?
M: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
M: No you did not.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't.
A: Did.
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not.
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
A: It can be.
M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No it isn't.
M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
A: Yes it is!
M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No it isn't.
M: It is.
A: Not at all.
M: Now look.
A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
M: What?
A: That's it. Good morning.
M: I was just getting interested.
A: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!
A: I'm afraid it was.
M: It wasn't.
Pause
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
M: What?!
A: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
M: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
A: (Hums)
M: Look, this is ridiculous.
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Oh, all right.
(pays money)
A: Thank you.
short pause
M: Well?
A: Well what?
M: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
A: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
M: I just paid!
A: No you didn't.
M: I DID!
A: No you didn't.
M: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
A: Well, you didn't pay.
M: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
A: No you haven't.
M: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
A: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
M: Oh I've had enough of this.
A: No you haven't.
M: Oh Shut up.

(Walks down the stairs. Opens door.)

M: I want to complain.
C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.
M: No, I want to complain about...
C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother.
M: Oh!
C: Oh my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm sick and tired of this office.

(Slams door. walks down corridor, opens next door.)

M: Hello, I want to... (thump)Ooooh!
H: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.
M: (thump)uuuwwhh!!
H: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
M: No.
H: Now..
M: (thump)Waaaaah!!!
H: Good, Good! That's it.
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: What?
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: Stop hitting you?
M: Yes!
H: Why did you come in here then?
M: I wanted to complain.
H: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
M: What a stupid concept.

Shalom.

45 posted on 02/23/2007 7:32:06 AM PST by ArGee (Campers laugh at clowns behind closed doors.)
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To: The_Victor

46 posted on 02/23/2007 7:32:16 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15)
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To: tomkow6


47 posted on 02/23/2007 7:33:20 AM PST by Soaring Feather (I Soar cause I can....)
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To: tomkow6

48 posted on 02/23/2007 7:33:52 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15)
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To: Lucky9teen
Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away...

Shalom.

49 posted on 02/23/2007 7:36:33 AM PST by ArGee (Campers laugh at clowns behind closed doors.)
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To: CharlesWayneCT

LOL!

Never saw that one before.


50 posted on 02/23/2007 7:36:50 AM PST by RockinRight (When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks under the bed for Jack Bauer.)
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To: Soaring Feather


51 posted on 02/23/2007 7:38:41 AM PST by tomkow6 (........pickin' my nose, bit by bit......)
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To: LongElegantLegs

52 posted on 02/23/2007 7:40:49 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15)
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To: ArGee

You're right, I need a tagline change


53 posted on 02/23/2007 7:42:23 AM PST by Lucky9teen (All might be free if they valued freedom, and defended it as they should. - Samual Adams)
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To: Lucky9teen
You're right, I need a tagline change

Oooooh! I LIKE it.

54 posted on 02/23/2007 7:43:07 AM PST by ArGee (Campers laugh at clowns behind closed doors.)
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To: BenLurkin

55 posted on 02/23/2007 7:43:43 AM PST by mcar
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To: ArGee
I am 25% Evil Genius.
I Want to be Evil!
I want to be evil. I do evil things. But given the opportunity, and a darn good reason I may turn to the good side. Besides I am probably a miserable evil genius.
Take the
Evil Genius Test
@ FualiDotCom

56 posted on 02/23/2007 7:46:29 AM PST by Lucky9teen (All might be free if they valued freedom, and defended it as they should. - Samual Adams)
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A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant,
and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand
she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"


57 posted on 02/23/2007 7:48:56 AM PST by backinthefold (does this tagline make my butt look big???)
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To: CJ Wolf

58 posted on 02/23/2007 7:52:48 AM PST by Lucky9teen (All might be free if they valued freedom, and defended it as they should. - Samual Adams)
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 The object of the game is to move the red block around
 without  getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black
 walls.
Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!!
     http://tinyurl.com/56t9u

59 posted on 02/23/2007 7:53:55 AM PST by backinthefold (does this tagline make my butt look big???)
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To: Lucky9teen

Amy Brown gives performance artist Mark McGowan a kick in the rear. McGowan, who
was dressed as President George Bush, made his way through the streets of
Manhattan wearing a sign urging passers by to kick him. Photo: AFP

60 posted on 02/23/2007 7:54:17 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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