[TheWasteLand]

A few additions. Forgive me, I can't resist.

• What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
• Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
• Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

[JRios1968]

The only sure fire way to commit suicide:

Google "Chuck Norris", but click on "I'm Feeling Lucky"

[Cyclopean Squid]

The Boogeyman isn't waiting in your closet to get you. He's just trying to hide from Chuck Norris.