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Doomsday Clock: Earth To Become A Pumpkin in 5 ... 4 .... 3
Ridiculopathy ^
| January 18, 2007
| unattributed
Posted on 01/21/2007 8:53:42 PM PST by SunkenCiv
As exciting as the news of our immanent destruction is, science still has yet to fully explain how all of this works. According to the "slimy string theory" of modern physics, subatomic particles begin as a oozy, mucus-like substance and can eventually take recognizable forms of matter like solids, liquids, and gasses but only for a while, about four to eight billion years. With the calculations from the Doomsday Clock group, it now appears that our time is just about up. As soon as their famous clock strikes midnight, all those tiny elemental bits will return to their original state, and up the earth and everything we know will cease to be.
If you happen to be worried that the impending world-killing calamity won't give you enough time to flip off your boss and drink yourself stupid before you suddenly wink out of existence, rest assured that the planet's pumpkinification will not be instantaneous. According to Dickinson's research, there should be ample warning signs to allow you to engage in all sorts of misanthropic behavior before the earth becomes a 10 trillion ton bag of seeds and orange slime.
(Excerpt) Read more at ridiculopathy.com ...
TOPICS: Science; Weather
KEYWORDS: climate; stringtheory
"Similarities with the material presented here and actual news is purely accidental. Take it seriously at your own risk."
1
posted on
01/21/2007 8:53:44 PM PST
by
SunkenCiv
To: AdmSmith; bvw; callisto; ckilmer; dandelion; FairOpinion; ganeshpuri89; gobucks; KevinDavis; ...
2
posted on
01/21/2007 8:54:32 PM PST
by
SunkenCiv
("In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, they're not." -- John Rummel)
To: SunkenCiv
The other morning I dropped my travel alarm clock on the floor and its been stuck at 2:24 ever since. AM or PM, I dunno, just 2:24 .....
Well, at least its been correct twice a day since the dropping .....
To: Mr_Moonlight
4
posted on
01/21/2007 9:12:09 PM PST
by
BenLurkin
(There's no such thing as a patriotic liberal.)
8^)
5
posted on
01/21/2007 9:12:27 PM PST
by
BenLurkin
(There's no such thing as a patriotic liberal.)
To: BenLurkin
And this pdf means what? That I should get a new travel alarm clock?
/chuckle
To: BenLurkin
And stock my home bunker with this stuff?
To: Mr_Moonlight
Don't forget the can opener!
8
posted on
01/21/2007 9:31:15 PM PST
by
BenLurkin
(There's no such thing as a patriotic liberal.)
To: BenLurkin
Ahhhhh, but they all have pull-tabs on 'em now! Haven't you kept up with modern Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee technology?
/grin
To: SunkenCiv
10
posted on
01/21/2007 9:57:56 PM PST
by
uglybiker
(AU-TO-MO-BEEEEEEEL?!!)
To: Mr_Moonlight; BenLurkin
11
posted on
01/22/2007 8:47:56 AM PST
by
SunkenCiv
("In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, they're not." -- John Rummel)
To: uglybiker
12
posted on
01/22/2007 8:49:15 AM PST
by
SunkenCiv
("In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, they're not." -- John Rummel)
To: SunkenCiv
13
posted on
01/22/2007 8:50:53 AM PST
by
dfwgator
(The University of Florida - Championship U)
To: dfwgator
You lucked out. This poor b@$+@rd on the other hand...
If this article weren't a spoof, this image would have made the ideal Barf Alert...
14
posted on
01/22/2007 9:45:23 AM PST
by
SunkenCiv
("In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, they're not." -- John Rummel)
To: SunkenCiv
Is this a 4:20 thread..:)
15
posted on
01/22/2007 3:46:55 PM PST
by
TaraP
To: TaraP
16
posted on
01/23/2007 10:12:29 AM PST
by
SunkenCiv
("In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, they're not." -- John Rummel)
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