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Was this wrong of me, or out of place??

One of my coworkers at my second job is a 25 YO kid. He is a road tech, who probably will become a good electronics technician in the near future. I get along with him pretty well, although he does make fun of me for my morals and my decision regarding my social life.

Anyhoo, Friday afternoon, he was saying"I'm gonna' go out tonight and get slammed", referring to going to a bar and getting drunk, and such. Then, he started talking about "Finding a whore for the weekend", and asked Chuck if he knew where some girl was.

I just responded with "Did you ever think of going out and doing something other than getting drunk and getting bedded down for the night? After all, don't you think it it time to start growing up?"

He responded with the usual jokes about me and such. I responded with "Well, hopefully you will grow up sometime. Everyone has to. Maybe then you will want a girl for more than just a night or two, and instead as a friend and companion, for something lasting."

Chuck then told him to "go out and have fun now, while he can". I just repeated my line about "growing up sometime". He responded "maybe someday, but not tonight", and left to go out to a bar and probably more.

Was I out of place in suggesting what I did??

First, I'm glad that your van is running well for you again. Having a vehicle that isn't running properly is always stressful, and I'm happy that you can get that stress out of your life.

Secondly, it's a free country, and you're free to say what you want to your co-workers as long as those conversations don't get in the way of working together effectively. I don't think that you were wrong to say what you said. Without knowing all of the history, I can't tell whether you were "out of place." "Out of place" really depends on what you hoped to accomplish and how you think that goal can be accomplished.

The whole situation seems a little "dysfunctional" for lack of a better word. If the "usual jokes" about you are not meant or not taken in a positive way, the "usual jokes" are another bad sign. The way you've described it, he seems to have gone out of his way to talk about his weekend plans in a way that would be offensive. On the other hand, if he feels that your whole attitude towards him is that of condemnation, his words could be primarily a defensive reaction. I don't know that there's a solution, but the whole situation doesn't sound like much fun.

I work with people who are active, practicing, born-again Christians. Because I realize that Christianity is a positive force in many people's lives, I don't automatically dislike what they represent. I don't feel an automatic need to attack what they represent. I even share many of their viewpoints on various issues. On the other hand, I don't trust their ways or their teachings in the way that they do. Overall, I think we do a pretty good job of keeping everything at a respectful level. They wouldn't approve of everything that I do, so I don't get in their faces with those differences. Likewise, I'm not interesting in repeating the same mistakes that I made giving too much of myself to church, and they've learned to respect my boundaries on those issues.

One of the teachings that I remember from my church days is that God gives each Christian different jobs to do in accomplishing His will. If you're confident that your comments fit within what God needs you to do in your relationship with your co-workers and you're confident that the working relationship is good enough that you aren't cheating your employer or clients, then your comments are fine.

Bill

About the 25 year old co-worker, I think you did the right thing. At least you let him know there is a better way than to just go get stone drunk and lay some chick for a one night stand. Anyways, a one night stand can come back and bite him in the butt, in that case, either he will be forced to "grow up" or run away, unfortunatly, I've seen a lot of the latter. Unfortunatly, it is part of our "I want it in 30 minutes" society. Stay the course, man, maybe it will rub off on him, we can always hope.

BTW, I did score an old CD player, a GE model 3-7000A that was made in May of 1984. I was over my friends condo and at the dumpster, it was sitting beside the dumpster in the drizzling rain. I took it home, fired it up, the only thing os that it doesn't slide out the carriage for the CD to eject it. I took the top off and helped it to eject, it worked and I put a CD in it and it played. I used the headphone jack to listen to it. All it needs is a belt and the rack might need lubed and it should be good to go. It is meant for a component stereo system, it was made when CD players costed around $1000 or so.