Posted on 12/31/2006 3:39:05 PM PST by Graybeard58
BURLINGTON, Wis. -- A bit of funny math helped James Wilberg win the title of top liar. His winning quip: "There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who are good at math, and those who are not."
Wilberg, of Franklin, beat 300 other liars from 14 states and three countries to become "World Champion Liar for 2006." His prize is a parchment certificate from the Burlington Liars Club, which sponsors the annual contest.
The club got its start in 1929 when Burlington journalist Otis Hulett and Manuel Hahn fabricated a news story about a lying contest between the Burlington police and fire departments in which the winner the police chief, who denied ever telling a lie.
Hulett closed the club in 1979, and the Burlington Area Chamber of Commerce revived it the next year.
Six other submissions received honorable mention this year:
• Garth Seehawer of Amberg: "He made the grandkids a telephone of two tin cans and a string. They thought it was great at first, but they threw it away after the 10th or 11th telemarketing call."
• Thomas Binder of Sheboygan: "There were so many political yard signs up during the last election, he accidentally voted for Shorewest Realtors."
• Rick Schaaf of Walhalla, N.D.: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. But if you grab it by its ears and hold its snout in the bucket long enough, it will either drink or learn to breath through its eyes."
• Bruce Zonow of Wisconsin Rapids: "The winter in northern Wisconsin was so severe last year that I was able to sublet the basement of my ice fishing shanty."
• Ellen Everts of New London: "Her friend is so cheap that when she wakes up in the morning, she looks under the bed to see if she lost any sleep."
• Jim Blazek of Racine: "My wife had so many magnets attached to the refrigerator during the winter months, causing it to run backwards. We now use it for a heating appliance."
Nancy Pelosi took the female division.
Bill Clinton was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award.
Not much of a contest if this was the best anyone could do to become the "top liar". Seems more like something voiced by a "redneck" in a movie than a "liar".
Apparently, the competition was pretty weak.
The lies are better in Burlington Vt.'
Specially during golf season.
Why did this old, old there are two kinds of people joke win?
Paraphrased: "The Burlington Liars Club was founded, in 1929, by journalists Hulett and Hahn when they fabricated a new story."....Journalists founded this club? No, kidding?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.