PlayOnLyrics top 20 worst lyrics

playonlyrics ^ | 12-21

[dfwgator]

That was Never Gonna Dance Again. (Just knowing that makes me question my masculinity, btw)

Actually the name of the song was "Careless Whisper."

Now you get me questioning my masculinity.

[Lurker]

The author of this piece has obviously never been treated to the musical genius of The Shaggs:

My Pal Foot Foot

My pal's name is Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
He always likes to roam
My pal's name is Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
I never find him home

I go to his house
Knock at his door Foot Foot don't live here no more

My pal Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
Always likes to roam
My pal Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
Now he has no home

Where will Foot Foot go
What will Foot Foot do
Oh, Foot Foot
I wish I could find you

I've looked here, I've looked there
I've looked everywhere
Oh, Foot Foot
Why can't I find you?

Foot Foot, where can you be?
Foot Foot, why won't you answer me?
Foot Foot, Oh Foot Foot
Wherever you are
I want you to come home with me

I don't have time to roam
I have things to do
I have to go home
Oh, Foot Foot, where are you?

If Foot Foot didn't like to roam so well
He would still have a place to dwell
Foot Foot, please answer me
I know where you are
You're behind that tree

Foot Foot, please come to me
Foot Foot, now that you're here
Won't you come home
Foot Foot, promise me this
That you will never again roam

Sheer poetry....

L

[dfwgator]

But nobody could match the true master, Benny Hill:



GARDEN OF LOVE

Benny Hill



(Chorus) The sun and the rain fell from up above
And landed on the earth below
In my garden of love

Now there’s a rose for the way my spirits rose when we met
A forget-me-not to remind me to remember not to forget
A pine tree for the way I pined over you
And an ash for the day I ashed you to be true

(Chorus) And the sun….

Now there’s a palm tree that we planted when we had our first date
A turnip for the way you always used to turnip late
Your mother and your cousin, Chris, they often used to come
So, in their honour, I have raised a nice chris-an’-the-mum

(Chorus) And the sun….

Now there’s a beetroot for the day you said that you’d beetroot to me
A sweet pea for the sweet way you always smiled at me
But you had friends who needed you
There was Ferdy, there was Liza
So, just for them, I put down a load of ferdy-liza

(Chorus) And the sun….

But Gus the gardener’s left now and you went with him, too
The fungus there reminds me of the fun Gus is having with you
Now the rockery’s a mockery, with weeds it’s overgrown
The fuchsia’s gone, I couldn’t face the fuchsia all alone

And my tears fell like raindrops from the sky above
And poisoned all the flowers in my garden of love

[Mr. Blonde]

Or a dumbed down Gwen Stefani.

[LongElegantLegs]

I liked Rich Girl as much as the next pirate fan, but is it possible to get any dumber than Gwen?

[Slings and Arrows]

The writer is an amateur. Here is the professional:

---

[RockinRight]

Have to agree on pretty much all of these.

I did always wonder what an "Unskinny Bop" was.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Why 'music' by Hasselhoff even makes any list is beyond me.

He is, I am told, very popular in Europe.

[Lady Jag]

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Check for snipping at your nose;
You'll tide carols being sung by the fire,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey, handsome Mr. Soul
Help to make the season bright;
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

[Lady Jag]

Deck the Halls

Deck the halls with Buddy Holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
'Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our day of peril,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yulbie Forest,
Fa la la la la la, la la la.
Strike the heart, enjoy the florist,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Deck the halls with bells of jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
'Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Why 'music' by Hasselhoff even makes any list is beyond me.

==>He is, I am told, very popular in Europe.

That's slander!!!!!!

;)

[Irish_Thatcherite]

"Stuff the turkey's hole with holly"

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Well, Germany at any rate.

:)

I am sure the Irish have much better taste.

[Lady Jag]

Good King Wenceslas

Good King Wences' car backed out
On the feet of heathens
When the snow lay round about,
Deep and crisp and even.

Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel,
When a poor man came in sight
Gath'ring wine and gruel.

Good king wants his applesauce
At the feast this evening
When the snow lay round about,
Deep and crisp and even.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

I am sure the Irish have much better taste.

We do - remember that song I posted on another thread? :-P

[martin_fierro]

The album cover is so-so...

...but these have gotta be the most unintentionally hilarious Christmas song lyrics ever:

Christmas in San Francisco

Vic Damone

Christmas in San Francisco
What a lovely place to be
Seeing the hills being all lit up
Like a diamond Christmas tree
Hearing children singing carols
People come from everywhere
To sing along with the children
Standing all around Union Square

Christmas in San Francisco
Looking like some fairy land
People with gifts in the crispy air
Giving old Saint Nick a hand

Let’s take a peek in Chinatown
Eating lychee nuts and barbecued boar
What can you say about the Golden Gate
That hasn’t been said before

Christmas in San Francisco
There is no place quite so dear
It’s the closest thing to heaven
How I wish that you were here.

What can you say about the Golden Gate
That hasn’t been said before
Christmas in San Francisco
There is no place quite so dear
It’s the closest thing to heaven
How I wish that you were here.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Fairytale of New York, a duet by Shane McGowan and Kirsty MacColl:

Youre a bum
Youre a punk
Youre an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy christmas your arse
I pray God its our last

[AmishDude]

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
Cause I speak of the pompitous of love

People talk about me, baby
Say I'm doin' you wrong, doin' you wrong
Well, don't you worry baby
Don't worry
Cause I'm right here, right here, right here, right here at home

Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run
Wooo Wooooo

You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time

Refrain

People keep talking about me baby
They say I'm doin' you wrong
Well don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry mama
Cause I'm right here at home

You're the cutest thing I ever did see
Really love your peaches want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Come on baby and I'll show you a good time

[Dont Mention the War]

Jingle presents
Beat the pheasants
Reindeer tastes like Spam!
Kick the elf
Engorge yourself
And ambush Santa's van
Hey!

[Lady Jag]

Evil knight, wholly night,
Vests his dough in a young nerd bright.
Even so, the malevolent childe
Loses his shirt in a downturn mild,
Yielding sword and piece.
Now we will never have peace.

Angels often herd on high,
Nodding nimbly all the day.
God says little in reply,
Echoing what actors say:
Less is more-o-o-o-o-or-o-o-o-o-or-o-o-o-o-oria,
As one seeks the way-o.

There is no well, the angels did say,
In search of a hot tub in which they might lay,
Nor more than one shepherd to manage the sheep,
A lover of Oprah, demented but deep.

Praise be the shoppers, toyful and triumphant,
And the package tourists bound for Bethlehem.
Underneath their passions, they remain but angels,
Living to adore Him
As they serve other lords.

Give us what we're asking for, or we will you dismay.
In Heaven God may reign, but we want toys on Christmas Day!
Unless you do, some things you cherish well might go astray,
Like that Longines watch that long has been your joy, long your joy,
If you don't give in, you just might lose your joy!