Posted on 12/22/2006 4:04:25 PM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran
Men Are Just Happier People...
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
"The ice box is 5 steps closer.:)"
I've got one in the living room. Next to the TV. (Long story)
My Christmas President is Santa Claus.
And We DO know about TANKS!
CPT., ARMOR
MACV, Class of '71
I know the feeling, my X wife almost had an accident once when she left the mower running to expedite taking care of my needs while watching "Victory at Sea".
Well no harm done except a freshly planted Black Walnut Tree had to start it's growing process all over again....
I didn't even miss the commercials for after she got me my brewsky, gave me a peck on the cheek, and petted the dog she finished the lawn and took a shower to wash off the sweat and went to buy a spade shovel and a new tree.
I never could understand why she left unannounced one day however....
LOL
Don't forget, we get credit when we put the toilet seat down. (like "he is such a gentleman, he puts the toilet seat down")
I've never figured out the toilet seat thing, anyway. I fell into the toilet once because the seat was up, and learned from that experience, to look before sittin down on the potty. Is it that difficult for a woman to look before backing up to the toilet?
I got asbestos on, flame away....LOL.....bob
LOL....I'm married to one of those grumpy old men!
fraid not...it's true ;)
No wonder liberals blend the sexes, happiness is a forbidden fruit, if one is happy one is or close to self sufficiency and contentment.
So they actually do exist eh?
I thought it was just a movie...
The liberals must really hate me. I'm happy the majority of the time :D
Oh they exist. I actually know a few right in my neighborhood! LOL
Grumble...grumble...
I just hate people who are grumpy!
D@mn it!! /snicker
"Same work, more pay."
Not true.
The rest are very true.
They said, "happier", not "happy."
We've developed a truce on this around here.
It gets left in the position in which it is found. Let the user beware.
You think tread heads were targets, and not you? ROFL
Pershing Missiles - Sgt. 3/71 - 12/73
I've never figured out the toilet seat thing, anyway.
Here's the deal - men - women - two things each. Only one of the four requires the seat to be up. Seat naturally belongs down, you lift it for the one of the four, and no one falls in.
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