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But I don't understand the reason for never playing the other person's game, are you defining a "game" always as a negative behavior?

Morning to you! What I meant is this, when it's known there are head games going on, don't fall into their trap. I did not mean that I think you're playing head games against them, you are keeping your head while they seem to resort to lies and trying to make you look small.

Hope that helps.

Oh I don't mind your posts - to me that is not rambling. ;)

Ah, I see your point, though I do have to play some head games with them, even if it's just judicious withholding of information, as I'm sure you know, but the topic of defensive head games could a whole thread!

You know, I even sent out an email or two to recruiters, even though I'm sitting in a scruffy Internet cafe in a no-name town in Taiwan right now, still, it's the Internet age, isn't it?

And guess what? One emailed back and asked if I can do a phone interview next week! Hurray! Actually, although my resume is rich, and a mile long, and I actually really do know that profession uncommonly well, still I was actually excited that someone in professional industry still wants to talk to me!!

These last 4 years have been fascinating, but I feel like I'm a different person from far, far away. Which, I suppose, was the original idea all along! ;-)

Yep, I was in a psychological dead end before, so I had to get out.

The most amazing thing is just how my own thinking has changed. Buddhists say the mind is the ultimate source of all mental states, and while that sounds like a (sorry) no-brainer, still if you take out or alter all the "but I don't like that flavor", "I hate this song", "I don't like the way they do that exactly at 8am everyday", "I don't want to do that then, I want to do it later", etc, etc, etc, anyway, if you alter or remove all those,there does remain a feeling of vastly increased bliss.

And in that sense the exact same person could be happy or miserable, sitting in the exact same place, on the exact same day, under the exact same conditions, varying solely on the quality of thought. Fascinating isn't it? And I'm happy to say these days I'm more on the "corrected" side of that scale. So the same office jobs that seemed insufferable, now seem like a great place to make money while my life focuses on other things outside of work.

I think that reaching-a-dead-end, making a change, then coming back after corrections is rather a normal and healthy process in life, would you say the same? :-)