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Ah, I see your point, though I do have to play some head games with them, even if it's just judicious withholding of information, as I'm sure you know, but the topic of defensive head games could a whole thread!

You know, I even sent out an email or two to recruiters, even though I'm sitting in a scruffy Internet cafe in a no-name town in Taiwan right now, still, it's the Internet age, isn't it?

And guess what? One emailed back and asked if I can do a phone interview next week! Hurray! Actually, although my resume is rich, and a mile long, and I actually really do know that profession uncommonly well, still I was actually excited that someone in professional industry still wants to talk to me!!

These last 4 years have been fascinating, but I feel like I'm a different person from far, far away. Which, I suppose, was the original idea all along! ;-)

Yep, I was in a psychological dead end before, so I had to get out.

The most amazing thing is just how my own thinking has changed. Buddhists say the mind is the ultimate source of all mental states, and while that sounds like a (sorry) no-brainer, still if you take out or alter all the "but I don't like that flavor", "I hate this song", "I don't like the way they do that exactly at 8am everyday", "I don't want to do that then, I want to do it later", etc, etc, etc, anyway, if you alter or remove all those,there does remain a feeling of vastly increased bliss.

And in that sense the exact same person could be happy or miserable, sitting in the exact same place, on the exact same day, under the exact same conditions, varying solely on the quality of thought. Fascinating isn't it? And I'm happy to say these days I'm more on the "corrected" side of that scale. So the same office jobs that seemed insufferable, now seem like a great place to make money while my life focuses on other things outside of work.

I think that reaching-a-dead-end, making a change, then coming back after corrections is rather a normal and healthy process in life, would you say the same? :-)

though I do have to play some head games with them, even if it's just judicious withholding of information, as I'm sure you know,

Yupper, don't think we could make it without one uping the other guy.

You've had a fabulous opportunity to work and live in another country, many do not have that option. Also, I really like your attitude of changing your outlook and not that of trying to "change the other person." As we change ourselves often times the change influnces others to have a second look at themselves. Not always of course, but never the less, they have been exposed to a different view.

It's like "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink." Too, can we deny them the right to deny, no, of course not. You are dealing with a culture, old and deeply ingrained in habits, costumes, ...ain't gonna change that!

Great news from the email! You go guy, knock 'em over. I think you have found the fork in the road and have made a decision to follow your bliss. You will ever regret your time in Asia, and I for one am so happy we crossed roads on the web of the world. Such wonderous trips you have shared with us, thank you.

I think that reaching-a-dead-end, making a change, then coming back after corrections is rather a normal and healthy process in life, would you say the same? :-)

Bingo!

"And in that sense the exact same person could be happy or miserable, sitting in the exact same place, on the exact same day, under the exact same conditions, varying solely on the quality of thought. Fascinating isn't it?"

You owe it to yourself to acquire, perhaps as a Christmas present, Dr. Wayne Dyer's book and/or CDs, "The Power of Intention."

One of the things he says is that all of our troubles are in our mind. When we go to meet our maker, what happens to the things we were worried about? They are gone.

Much earlier, I benefited from a book by Dr. Eric Berne, "Games People Play." It gives a good analysis for how to recognize, and perhaps respond to, "head games."

"I think that reaching-a-dead-end, making a change, then coming back after corrections is rather a normal and healthy process in life, would you say the same?"

Absolutely! As long as you don't go too far down the wrong path ...

Pathways

Sometimes there are decisions,
You don’t know what to do.
You must accept either this, or that.
When neither is right for you.

The word is antinomy,
A choice between two hells,
A crystal ball in stereo,
Misfortune that it tells.

There is a third discomfort,
The fact that you must choose,
No one else can do it,
And either way you lose.

Of ethical dilemmas,
With this I’m not impressed.
While anyone can flip a coin,
No one can pass the test.

I like a third alternative,
How did it come to this?
Along decision’s path you trod,
What did you seem to miss?

Somewhere there must have been a time,
One didn’t think it through,
And took a devious shortcut,
Which seemed equal to the true.

Having to choose between two bads,
Means good’s the other way,
How did we get this far along,
With choices made today?

It wasn’t recent choices,
That got us where we are,
Not long ago we skipped a step,
That now seems very far.

Oh, to go back and change the thing,
That brought us to this place,
And let us greet this turning with,
A smile upon our face!

Whenever you are choosing,
The way that you will go,
Look long, and study well,
Those miles you have to go.

The choices that you make today,
Will shape the world to come,
And where you get to will depend,
On where you’re coming from.

NicknamedBob . . . April 9, 2004