Posted on 11/12/2006 11:16:06 AM PST by DogByte6RER
Thai zoo to use videos to teach panda to mate
Nov. 11, 2006. 07:34 AM
REUTERS
BANGKOK — A Thai zoo, which has hosted a couple of pandas for four years, will play "porn" videos for the male next month to encourage them to breed in captivity, the project manager said on Saturday.
The pair — living chastely together at the zoo in the northern city of Chiang Mai since arriving from China in 2003 — would be separated in December, but stay close enough for occasional glimpses of each other, said panda project chief Prasertsak Buntrakoonpoontawee.
"They don't know how to mate so we need to show the male how, through videos," Prasertsak told Reuters.
He said Chuang Chuang, the six-year-old male, would be shown the videos on a large screen when he might be feeling amorous.
"We'll play the video at the most comfortable and intimate time for him, perhaps after dinner," Prasertsak said, hoping Chuang Chuang would then use the techniques on Lin Hui, a five-year-old female.
The zoo is hosting a four-day international panda conference that starts on Monday, drawing 200 wildlife and panda specialists from around the world.
White and black, the friendly bears of China
White and black, they rarely reproduce
What shall be done about these Chinese bears?
What shall be done about these friendly bears?
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Yay!
Why should we save them?
What good do they do?
Have you ever seen a panda
Do something good for you?
They can't wear t-shirts,
They can't bounce basketballs
They can't walk tightropes
Over Niagra Falls
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
You fat bastard!
All endangered species
Leave endangered feces
If you knew how bad they smelled
You would gladly take their pelt
If we kill them all
We can have more parking lots
We can have small couches
Made of little ocelots
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Here's a "Corky and the Juice Pigs" link to the song:
http://kimberlychapman.com/corky/pandas.html
And you can check out this little music video of the song at this link:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206805
Panda Porn!
(A little wine with the dinner helps too!)
Are they going to provide booze and cigarettes too?
Yeah...
They might add some panda viagra to that as well. They can call it piagra!
You and me are paying for thousands of elderly to get it up.
Why not the pandas?
Of course, I also listened to the Panda song in the same session that I heard "Killing all the pigeons in the park" and "Cows with guns". If you ever want to torture a PETA freak to death, those three songs would do it.
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I'd say any tape starring Ginger Lynn is all the zoo keepers need . . . |
Are you really a Field's medal winner ?
Excellent thread
Yes...that un-PC Panda song is great. Too bad the band disbanded. I would love for them to play that song live at my next NRA club meeting...
Why, yes, my little dumpling! I picked up that medal before the Nobel Prize ceremony and after winning the Olympic Decathalon gold medal.
Sweetness, this is the internet, and you only believe people after a long, proven track record. I've never won any of the above prizes, nor have I served in our military (the last claim is the most widely abused).
"So how's the mating going?"
"It's not."
"Huh?! What's the matter?"
"He's sitting in there, watching the tapes and playing with himself."
Show them a stained blue dress.
Panda porn ping!
Hey , quit pickin'on my hubby. Can he see the videos too?
Just kidding. Hope he doesn't read this. Hell to pay
Hmmm . . . Since you do not
deny you're a dog, should we
assume you're a dog?!
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