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The Metrosexual Bond (Debbie Schlussel Thumbs Down On "Casino Royale" Alert)
Debbie Schlussel.com ^ | 11/09/2006 | Debbie Schlussel

Posted on 11/10/2006 6:55:46 AM PST by goldstategop

Just got back from seeing, "Casino Royale," the new James Bond movie, the 21st installment. My reaction:

Bring back Sean Connery . . . . Bring back Roger Moore . . . . Bring back George Lazenby . . . . Bring back almost anybody (but not Timothy Dalton or Pierce Brosnan). This new dude, Daniel Craig, just doesn't cut it. He's DULL. No charisma, no charm, no suavity and debonaireness.

Too old and haggard looking. And he's way too thin (scrawny) and small (hair's too short and ears stick out, too--like Alfred E. Neuman). Very blah. Not sexy. Nice eyes, but nothing behind them. Would Sir Ian Fleming fancy this guy playing Bond? Doubtful.

Daniel Craig

James Bond is meant to be tall, dark and handsome. Not small, blonde, and nebbishy. Jeans, a biker shorts swimsuit? James Bond wouldn't be caught dead in Daniel Craig's "Casino Royale" everyman mallwear.

And the plot . . . oy. James Bond, MI-6 Secret Agent, is fighting the enemy in a boring poker game. Puh-leeze. There's a reason "The World Series of Poker" is not an action adventure spy movie. It's a yawner.

I predict Daniel Craig will last about as long as Dalton. As in not very. He's just not hot. Ironically, both leads, Craig and French Actress Eva Green got had their biggest roles to date in Islamist movies, he in "Munich" (playing Steven Spielberg's phony version of a Mossad agent uttering outrageous statements Mossad agents would never utter, but in which he, ironically, looked more like James Bond--beefier and with better hair) and she in "Kingdom of Heaven."

Gotta say I agree with (the new, female?!) "M"'s line in the movie: "I miss the Cold War." I do, too. Because without it, James Bond is boring. And out.

Stay tuned for my complete review when the movie comes out.

****

Fave DebbieSchlussel.com James Bond flick: "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," starring George Lazenby, the one and only time he played Bond. Also liked, "From Russia With Love," "Goldfinger," and "Dr. No."

Fave DebbieSchlussel.com James Bond: George Lazenby, with Sean Connery a close second.

Fave DebbieSchlussel.com James Bond villain: Blofeld (full name: Ernst Stavro Blofeld), as played by Telly Savalas (Blofeld was also played by Max Von Sydow).

George Lazenby as James Bond & Telly Savalas as Blofeld


TOPICS: TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: 007; casinoroyale; caterinamurino; danielcraig; debbieschlussel; georgelazenby; ianfleming; jamesbond; lazenby; metrosexualbond; movies; ohmss; savalas; seanconnery; tellysavalas
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To: BenLurkin; MrsEmmaPeel

Calling MrsEmmaPeel - they are talking about you. ;)


21 posted on 11/17/2006 7:56:27 PM PST by Mr. Jeeves ("When the government is invasive, the people are wanting." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: Mr. Jeeves

You are too kind


22 posted on 11/17/2006 8:17:05 PM PST by MrsEmmaPeel
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To: who knows what evil?

First she trashes Borat which most people in the UK and US,inc conservatives,love.

The she trashes Casino Royale and Daniel Craig...only for critics,fans and filmgoers around the world rave about Craig's performance and the film itself.

Is she bereft of taste or just stupid.....?


23 posted on 11/18/2006 5:30:48 AM PST by the scotsman
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To: goldstategop

Wrong!

The new Bond is razor-sharp, cool, well-dressed but without affectation, and -- I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality -- one hot stud.

If the movie were twice as long, I would have been perfectly happy to sit through the whole thing.

Craig and Co. has refreshed, renewed and rethought Bond for our age, one with far more danger and real gadgets (making fictional gadgets obselete). The new Bond is ready to go teeth to teeth with anyone and fight to the death. The new Bond is more chiseled and discplined and athletic. The new Bond loses almost all of the tired old camp (with just a whisper remaining here and there) but still knows how to crack a joke and have a good time.

The new Bond knows just which women (women!) to conquer -- the married ones -- therein making Danger his middle name.

The new Bond fits easily into any drawer. The new Bond has never seen a horse like the Tennessee Stud. The new Bond means well. The new Bond sees you and raises you ten. The new Bond always swings on the first pitch. The new Bond knows when to hold 'em. The new Bond eats dessert first. The new Bond believes everything he reads. The new Bond sees you when you're sleeping. The new Bond builds strong bodies 12 ways. The new Bond always leaves room for Jell-O.

I could go on.

Someone seems to love the old Bond films. Do we look like we give a damn?

What, you say? You disagree? Have at thee -- I have an itch a bit to the right.


24 posted on 11/18/2006 8:24:59 AM PST by Silly (still being silly)
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To: Silly
Wrong!

I agree. Debbie Schussel is wrong again. I liked Connery's early efforts the best, but this new one is the shot in the arm the franchise needed. I think Schussel was writing a review based on rumors of the film. I doubt she even saw it.

25 posted on 11/24/2006 5:40:46 PM PST by Sans-Culotte ("Thanks, Tom DeLay, for practically giving me your seat"-Nick Lampson)
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To: Sans-Culotte
I re-read her article. She had not seen it and said so. But she based her review of Craig more on Munich than on his portrayal as Bond.
26 posted on 11/24/2006 5:42:30 PM PST by Sans-Culotte ("Thanks, Tom DeLay, for practically giving me your seat"-Nick Lampson)
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To: Sans-Culotte

Yeah, something tells me she either didn't see it, or went in with an opinion and didn't pay attention.

If it weren't so late, I'd head into Manhattan right now and see it again. Hey, I might do it anyway!

By the way, the opening credits were so cool. Modern twist on the old tradition of the animated credits.


27 posted on 11/24/2006 5:44:01 PM PST by Silly (Not being... Silly)
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To: Silly

Even cooler was the way they worked in the trademark "firing down the barrel" opening. As to the complaints some have about the card game: they should blame Ian Fleming. Most of the novel was about the card game (though it was chemin-de-fer instead of poker). The plot of the film was mainly from Fleming's novel.


28 posted on 11/24/2006 8:30:33 PM PST by Sans-Culotte ("Thanks, Tom DeLay, for practically giving me your seat"-Nick Lampson)
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To: Sans-Culotte

I actually like the card game. It reminded me of the old Westerns -- except now in the modern saloon, Casino Royale.

But that building coming down -- that really took the cake. Stunning visuals throughout the whole film.


29 posted on 11/24/2006 8:34:39 PM PST by Silly (Still being... Silly)
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To: Callahan

I saw Casino Royale this weekend. Debbie is out of her mind. Daniel Craig is great, and not even close to being a metrosexual.


30 posted on 11/25/2006 4:54:34 PM PST by Cecily (`)
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To: goldstategop

Sean Connery never had to be told how to wear a tuxedo.


31 posted on 12/14/2006 11:30:56 PM PST by Paleo Conservative (Karl Rove isn't magnificent.)
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