Unless you're married to Ralph Kramden.
Posted on 11/05/2006 10:28:08 AM PST by gymbeau
Hi, FRiends. I just received this humorous list via a friend who sends me jokes et al all the time. I think an alternate title could be "Thank slip-and-fall lawyers for making this necessary..."
Just to bring a couple of smiles to you hard-working GOTVers while you bring your great country's victory home Tuesday.
In Honour of Stupid People . . . In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...
Probably a translation issue. I think it was supposed to be "not to be used for anything other than the intended use," which would be, y'know, whatever a food processor is intended to do.
Oh, wait; we get signal. Main screen turn on.
Unless you're married to Ralph Kramden.
Very funny, thanks for the laugh.
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