[Swordmaker]

So on both counts I suggest getting rid of it.

I was thinking the same thing. I wrote this last year when I posted it then... and now reading it a year later (unfortunately, after I posted it) I was jarred by both. Thanks for the editorial validation.

[GOP Poet]

You have done a fine job! I read all the time about how just about every famous writer hates looking at not only their early works, but many times even their last novel or film, because there is so much they which they had done 'better' or differently. I think it is just part of being a conscientious writer. Let me know if and when you get the story or any of your other works published. It is just a matter of time of course :-).