Sports Fan Names Newborn Son ESPN

Fox News ^ | 10-07-2006 | Associated Press

[TravisBickle]

BILOXI, Miss. — Leann Real promised her husband, an avid sports fan, that if they ever had a son he'd get to pick the name. ESPN Montana Real was born this week at Biloxi Regional Medical Center.

Rusty Real, of D'Iberville, chose ESPN (pronounced Espen) after the sports network and Montana after football legend Joe Montana.

[Gay State Conservative]

My name is Sucka, how do you do?

Don't you remember A Boy Named Sue,or are you too young? The line I quoted was the high point of the song.

[MotleyGirl70]

Don't get it. Explain it.

[Petronski]

Hugh Jorgan

[MotleyGirl70]

Is your name Mike Hunt?

I work with a dude with this name/Porkies

[Allegra]

Is your name Mike Hunt?

We used to call department stores and have Mike Hunt paged when we were teenagers.

[Petronski]

That's actually the guy's name?

LOL

[Gay State Conservative]

Don't get it. Explain it.

Unless you're familiar with the song (from the late 60's) you probably won't be able to understand.

The theme of this post is silly,embarrassing names.The theme of the song was a guy who was named Sue and had nothing but trouble through life as a result.

Mine was a post best understood by old fogies like myself.As a youngster,you're forgiven for not having gotten it. ;-)

[Gay State Conservative]

We used to call department stores and have Mike Hunt paged when we were teenagers.

When I worked in an Emergency Room,the charge nurse once,as an April Fools joke,asked one of the staff nurses to go out into the waiting room and ask for a patient named "Pat McGroin".

What made that especially funny was that both nurses involved were the most straight laced women you could meet.

[ladyjane]

G. Howie Hurtz

Buster Hyman

[Allegra]

Anita Hanjob.

[Allegra]

Phil McCracken.

OK, I'll stop now.

[Richard Kimball]

My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to Ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me 'Sue.'

Well, he must o' thought that is was quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named 'Sue.'

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made me a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man that give me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me 'Sue.'

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' how do you do! Now you gonna die!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down but, to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I know I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said good-bye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's that name that helped to make you strong."

He said: 'Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you 'Sue'.'

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I come away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but sue! I still hate that name!

[BookmanTheJanitor]

[Charles Henrickson]

ESPN Montana Real

That's his Real name?

[Charles Henrickson]

Mr. & Mrs. Real's other children:

Virginia Real
Rod N. Real

They all live at the Real Estate.

[Red Boots]

Nooo!

[raccoonradio]

This story goes back a few years...

by the way the comedy band Modern Man had a fun song based on a news story about a couple that were going through a divorce because the wife was upset her husband spent all day watching sports on TV, and ESPN was named in the lawsuit!

The room is all empty except for the screen
Some guys are in red shirts, some guys are in green
There's a break in the action, but soon there'll be more
I'd go to the bathroom but someone might score, on,

ESPN, ESPN
You're the reason I'm single again
Life is for losers, sports is your friend
And who's got more sports on than ESPN?

I'd like to go out but my wallet is gone
But who wants to go out, when there's volleyball on?
And there's synchronized swimming and football ahead
There's bowling for morons, and golf for the dead, on...

ESPN (etc.)

[martin_fierro]

Fun at the airport with the White Discourtesy Phone

[lesser_satan]

"Maybe the dingo ate your baby!"

[rfp1234]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Espen_Knutsen