The Dragonflies'Lair~Thread XXXI

Talented poets and friends of The Dragonflies' Lair | October 5, 2006 | bentfeather/Poets of the Lair

[Soaring Feather]

My Dragon Fly and Me

If I could be a Dragon Fly
and wing my way through the sky
I would never be shy
just me and my Dragon Fly!

By moonlight we ride the wind
chase the comets tail for fun
by day we would hide from the sun
our fragile wings would come undone

On darkest nights we would use
fireflies as our guide
we would dip and we would glide
through the heavens open wide
and scatter diamonds in the night sky
my Dragon Fly and me...

And we would wing past our lovers
silent in the night...
to kiss their face in our flight
much to their surprise and delight
my Dragon Fly and me in sight...

Such a view do we share
away up here in the air
of breezes soft through our hair
my Dragon Fly and me a pair...

bentfeather©
2002

[starbase]

How many Gideons to you carry in your buggy?

LOL! Hundreds!

[starbase]

You ever thought of doing a 'travel' book for the person who wants to really see the world about them?

Hmm, travel book, no I never really thought of that. I'm more a nose-to-the-grindstone type, I'd count on doing just some modest regular work over time and saving up. Maybe once I've got enough for my little retirement farm I might spend a couple years doing something like a travel book.

[starbase]

Well good news, I heard from my new job and they aren't furious that I'll be a day late. But bad news is she mentioned that she talked with her manager about it, which in Chinese culture is code that you're walking on thin ice. Pretty much in their system anything getting sent up the ladder is a bad thing, means your "making trouble", and in these group based cultures (and Chinese are pretty much the inventors of the group based culture) "making trouble" is being on the hot seat for "removal"!

However it's not fatal, I'll just have to be more butt kissy and appreciative once I get there, and having spent the last year wisely saving (and now leaving Thailand with the majority of my travel budget intact) having access to a nice sum of money largely takes the edge off of all other stresses, doesn't it?

Still, I'd like it to work out, and seeing the plane was full on the day I was supposed to be there, I was not thrilled, and had to wait both all weekend (Thai holiday) to just find out what flights were open, then all day and night to hear back from the job (Taiwan holiday), and this morning our US Consulate should have my passport, if they're late I can probably kiss this job goodbye, but there are more fish in the sea around here, and I can easily go back to Plan B which was to pay for Chinese classes in Taiwan (gives you visa extensions) and just live there under my own steam while I take my time looking around, not a bad alternative!

And, as a final note, if you're ever working in a Chinese environment, and if you happen to be a rising star, then even if they're really excited about you, then they'll hide it and keep it from you (not send it up the ladder, at least not that you'll ever see them do it), until some big moment that they'll announce you're great. That's after ragging on you and dumping on you. It's contrarian as hell, but they always have this idea that, even if you deserve something good, everybody should get to hammer you before you get the good thing, or else it isn't fair! On the other hand, good Chinese will always give you the good thing, but just after you "pay" for it. Bad people might cheat you, but that's true everywhere, of course. That's why mentions to boss are bad, but no mentions are either neutral or good. Crazy, but that's why I like it, I guess. Mental stimulation!

[Soaring Feather]

My gosh, how do you keep up with the head games??


I would be nuts.

I am sure happy for you and your little nest egg, wise thing to do.

Well, I think things will work out for you.;)

[starbase]

Yes, I guess waiting for all these pieces to come together had me a bit more wound up than I was admitting to myself. And a little voice tells me I shouldn't be drinking wine anyway. Though as I cut back and cut back on booze (ultimately quitting altogether, but I'm not in any hurry!!), I find I'm drinking "cleaner" drinks (like wine, in fact I now drink only wine, if there's no wine then I don't have anything, because Socrates says it's OK to drink wine, but in "moderation"!), and I'm drinking less often, like now I have a moderately strict rule of drinking no more than two days in any week, and sometimes no days. And in fact, I've found the reduced frequency and only drinking wine does actually keep my mind crystal clear, and I easily remember everything I said and every one I talked to and where, it's pretty cool.

But still, even just one glass slows your cognitive abilities, then the weenies of the world have more of a chance to mess with you (and to be fair, many of them are roasting in agony, even if they don't show it on the surface, so your sudden "weakness" (that is, your suddenly being a bit slow on the uptake, because you imbibed in an adult beverage) is a catalyst they are not capable of resisting)). And all that comes together to imply that my run in with crap head is largely my own fault for drinking (however moderately), and something being one's own fault is the most annoying thing of all, isn't it?! ;-)

[starbase]

Ah thank you, I have faith that things will work out (seek and ye shall find, kind of thing), up until the end that's there for all of us (remember this is a closed system we're in (and thank goodness for that too!!))

As far as the head games, it's funny because I never play them myself, which I guess attracts such people to me, because they sense they won't get any return attacks, but my profession and my mentality being in software design (that is systemic architecture, though I'm not doing that work in Taiwan these days), so the head games spell themselves out to me like the designed systems I'm so used to cataloging! So I see them, but I never use them myself.

Now I've often thought of writing a book about that, but I'm very reluctant to put such information in nasty people's hands. Bad people cook up enough head games without me providing them a play book of all the games I've ever seen!!

[starbase]

There, it looks like I've clogged the Lair up with long winded posts enough for one sitting! LOL! Now I'm off to the Consulate to get the new passport which I'm sure is waiting there for me!

See you later on! ;-)

[Soaring Feather]

And all that comes together to imply that my run in with crap head is largely my own fault for drinking (however moderately), and something being one's own fault is the most annoying thing of all, isn't it?!

Well, no, not necessarily, I mean you were in the Internet cafe for a reason. There is no law against drinking any beverage. Maybe you're too hard on your self over this. I would drop it. I agree with your being a little wound up over your affairs, we all do that.
I guess the other guy was too. You are only responsible for your actions, you did nothing to him, just reacted within your own skin. He is not worth any more fretting over. ;)

[Lady Jag]

Your gas mileage must be horrible.

[Soaring Feather]

LOL Your gas mileage must be horrible.
Your humor is as dry as the English. ;)

[Lady Jag]

English is what I'm s quarter of!

[Soaring Feather]

Well, bingo, there ya go.

[Soaring Feather]

Good night everyone.

[starbase]

Yet more good news! The Consulate came through with my new passport just before I need it to fly to my new job on Thurs, so I feel much more relaxed now. You just don't know what hidden delays might suddenly appear when waiting for a passport, and when I applied for it that automatically marked the previous one as "pending cancellation" so I felt I was painted into a waiting corner there for a bit.

Freepers will be happy to know the Consulate is well guarded. They have a bullet proof glass window with two guards in it, and one more who opens the door for approved visitors. All three have side arms. And they only let you in if you have business there, so if two friends came while you ordered a passport they would have to wait outside (of the building, that is). Of course metal detector and baggage scanner are just inside the door.

While I'm not a huge personal fan of Cheney and Rice (they're ok, but their no Ronald and Margaret, that's for sure), still, when I walked into our modern and very high class (which is to say, simply normal by US standards) waiting room, I looked up at three big pictures of W, Cheney, and Condaleeza smiling benignly down at me, I was quite pleased and moved.

Our society is definitely the best in the world. Once I'm ready to return in 6,7, or 8 years, however many, I'm sure I won't ever leave it again.

[starbase]

I love that graphic. The light catching the quarter makes it look so real and metallic.

[starbase]

Well, no, not necessarily, I mean you were in the Internet cafe for a reason. There is no law against drinking any beverage.

Yes, you're right from our American/Individual Rights point of view. But that's one of the fascinating alternative perspectives that I guess keeps me in this part of the world. You see, some of the philosophy I've been reading (which is Theravada Buddhism, which is very normal and conversation like, unlike Zen Buddhism which is totally mystical) anyway, Theravada philosophy takes the concept of personal self control to such a high level, that it even puts the onus of controlling immature people on the mature ones, just as an adult is responsible for a child's behavior.

So you see, if I'm more mature and more learned than any given nasty person, and if I imbibe in a drink causing myself to look slower such that the person caves into their nastiness, solely because I was not practicing what they call "mindfulness" (the wise, or would-be wise, must monitor all things around them), then in effect it is my education, combined with my making it seem vulnerable when drinking, which, in fact, causes the other person to act badly, on the basis that they are too mean and nasty to control themselves.

I know, it runs directly contrary to our "individual responsibility" ideas, but it can be considered a form of "if you want something done right, do it yourself". After I've adopted this idea more (not totally, but just more) it has in fact lead to reduced stress for me because I "design out" chances for people like that to do anything at all.

It runs counter to our Western ideas when it instructs me to give up my right to drink a perfectly legal beverage in a completely public place. However, while it does not address "rights", it does shift the focus to what weak people are likely to do, rather than what they should do. By giving up what we call a right, I am admitting a certain degree of reality, and my reward is much increased peace, because if I hadn't drunk a drop, I'm sure I would have just laughed at his behavior, but just a few drinks was enough to cloud my judgment to the point that my anger hurt myself, you see, because I did not take into account what a nasty person might do, even though I had a right to the activity in question, and I thereby provoked his behavior, which could be considered a wrong action on my part. I'm not really sweating that idiot at this point, but I do like to think these things through, and I have benefited mightily over the last 4 years that I left the corporate job and had "thought cycles" to devote to just such ideas as these.

Of course we in the US have built the greatest society in human history on the basis of "rights", and I'm certainly not about to chuck out that concept. Still, wisely addressing what's likely to happen, and governing ourselves accordingly, well there's something to be said for that too. Interesting ideas to ponder.

[tomkow6]

Good morning,

Ms Feather!

[Soaring Feather]

The Consulate came through with my new passport just before I need it to fly to my new job on Thurs

Excellent news!!

[Soaring Feather]

Good morning, Tomkow!

[Soaring Feather]

Theravada philosophy takes the concept of personal self control to such a high level, that it even puts the onus of controlling immature people on the mature ones, just as an adult is responsible for a child's behavior.


It's interesting to study and learn about other concepts for living in serenity.


I was not practicing what they call "mindfulness" (the wise, or would-be wise, must monitor all things around them), then in effect it is my education, combined with my making it seem vulnerable when drinking, which, in fact, causes the other person to act badly, on the basis that they are too mean and nasty to control themselves.


In my view, the guy you encountered yesterday is a jerk, always will be a jerk, ergo, the only one who can change is you. Personally, I would not knock myself out trying to figure out this guy's motives.
Of course, that's my perspective from living a life time in the good old USA!


It's always interesting to read your thoughts, thanks much.