[sully777]

Did you know that the month of September is also officially...

Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month, Natl
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Month
Baby Safety Month
Backpack Safety America Month
Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month
Biscuit Month, Natl
Chicken Month, Natl
Children's Good Manners Month
Civics Awareness Month, Natl
College Savings Month
Coupon Month, Natl
Fall Hat Month
5-A-Day Month, Natl Go Wild During California Wild Rice Month
Gynecologic Cancer Awareness Month
Honey Month, Natl
Library Card Sign-Up Month
Menopause Awareness Month
Metaphysical Awareness Month
Mushroom Month, Natl
Organic Harvest Month, Natl
Osteopathic Medicine Month, Natl
Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, Natl
Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month
Pediculosis Prevention Month, Natl
People Skills Month, Intl
Piano Month, Natl
Pleasure Your Mate Month
Potato Month, Natl
Preparedness Month, Natl
Reunion Planning Month
Rice Month, Natl
School Success Month, Natl
Sea Cadet Month
Self-Awareness Month, Intl
Self-Improvement Month
September Is Healthy Aging Month
Shameless Promotion Month
Skin Care Awareness Month, Natl
Southern Gospel Music Month
Sports and Home Eye Health and Safety Month
Strategic Thinking Month, Intl
Subliminal Communications Month
United Planet Month
Update Your Resume Month
Very Important Parents (VIP) Month, Natl

[LongElegantLegs]

IB4TZ!!!!!

[sully777]

**** Official Friday Silliness Thread **** Ping List





Roll Call KOBE!:

[sully777]

Much thanks to S&A for the new annoying song in my head



The New Llama Song

[sully777]

Hans Moleman Presents: Man Getting Hit By [A] Football

[sully777]

September is Subliminal Awareness Month

Most people are truly not aware of subliminal messages in the media--kook conspiracy theory. I don't want to alarm my fellow FReepers--buy my book click my blog-- but evil thoughts and smutty ideas are becoming a part of our minds through subtle double speak and subliminal imagery--stop the voices in my head. I think it's important to address this subject--steal the idea from Kevin Nealon--and remind my fellow FReepers--who stole it from Monty Python--that life is too short to just eat one blueberry pancake--WTF?

[sully777]

And now a word from our sponsors

---

1973 Commercials (8:54)

1982 Commercials featuring WANG (1:00)

1980's Wendy's Commercial -- Soviet Fashion Show (0:59)

Fed-Ex: Fast Talker John Moschitta (0:56)

[sully777]

Weird Al's White and Nerdy

Presidents of the United States: Lump

Weird Al: Gump

[sully777]

Kickin back.

[beyond the sea]

November

Save America From Liberals Month

[fredhead]

I'll have a chicken biscuit with magic mushrooms and rice on the side, in celebration of September.

[JRios1968]

People Skills Month

In honor of People Skills Month, I say

Present!!

You lousy bum...

[ukie55]

Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month

They have to have a month to remind us to do that? How bad is that?

[ErnBatavia]

Holy Toledo...I slept in and still made top 50? Vas ist?

[CSM]

Finally, I have a joke to post:

---

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God:
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and those jerks deducted $95.00 in taxes.

[The_Victor]

Update Your Resume Month

[Sax]

Subject: Talking Clock

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his
friends late one night after they dropped him off from the bar. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a
big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch this" the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the
gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood
looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You
asshole..it's three-fifteen in the morning!"

[Michael Goldsberry]

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House," for instance, is feminine, "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine, "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1) No one but their creator understands their internal logic,

2) The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else,

3) Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval, and

4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("El computador"), because:

1) In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on,

2) They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves,

3) They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem, and

4) As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Note: The women won.

[rightwingintelligentsia]

Finally, I too have a joke to post:

A Steelers fan, a Browns fan and a Titans fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Titans fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before he whip went through. The Titans fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Browns fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Browns fan out crying like a little girl.

The Steelers fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said,

"You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Steelers fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Browns fan to my back."

[Auntbee]

Happy Friday sully. Wow, top 50!!

[Izzy Dunne]

Somebody help me, I'm too White & Nerdy.