Well you are probably right about them being out of their league. I would be willing to tell them that for $500 and then they could have saved $1100. I would also be willing to tell them that they are fat and bald for an extra $100.
The subtext of the article is really, really insulting if you read it carefully. Basically it says: "Hey, loser, you don't get the beautiful women at the hipster bar. What you get are drunk Jersey girls."