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Top 10: Hot Stewardess Airlines
Askmen ^ | Terry Baldwin

Posted on 08/14/2006 3:36:36 PM PDT by pissant

Blame it on our vivid imaginations and mediocre surroundings, but every time we fly, we check out the stewardesses. Yes, we’re using that word; like eating a big slab of steak or smoking in public, casually using the word stewardess is frowned upon in some circles. I want to make it clear: I am approaching this topic from a glandular perspective -- a perspective that doesn’t play nice with political correctness. Each time we board, we hope to fly with stewardesses as hot as those in the movie Airplane! (1980), Pam Grier in Jackie Brown (1997) and Catherine Zeta-Jones in The Terminal (2004).

Airlines may not be able to blatantly hire based on sex appeal anymore, but I sense that it’s still considered to a degree -- somewhere between the lines of “height and weight appropriate,” “professional appearance” and “pleasant personality.” The Player gave you pearls when he taught you How to Score a Stewardess; now that you know how, you need to know where. Here are 10 airlines with fly girls who’ll get more than your tray table in the upright position.

Number 10--Air France

You probably wouldn’t expect a French airline to outfit their stewardesses in frumpy uniforms, and you’d be right. Air France reportedly dropped about $23 million for Christian Lacroix to design a fresh look for their 36,000 employees in 2005. The navy blue uniforms definitely work for me -- they nicely accentuate the stewardesses’ shapely curves. I’m convinced that U.S./French relations would improve if the American detractors flew a jaunt on Air France.

What makes them especially hot: They could very well follow the French ideal of passion over happiness.

Number 9--Air New Zealand

For would-be stewardesses, Air New Zealand states, “vitality, resourcefulness, enthusiasm and flexibility are… attributes we search for in candidates.” Knowing they’re required to be able to swim the length of an Olympic-sized pool tells us they’re in shape, too. Finally, the airline’s TV ads use actual staff to promote New Zealand’s rugby teams. The way I see it, stewardesses who love physical sports can only be a bonus.

What makes them especially hot: Durex’s 2005 sex survey finds Kiwis even hornier than Americans.

Number 8 -- All Nippon Airlines

ANA’s corporate philosophy includes a desire to “create attractive surroundings for customers,” and I’m pleased to confirm their success when it comes to their stewardesses. An extreme example would be the appearance of a bootlegged uniform in a Japanese sex shop: the anticipated selling price was up to $2,650 U.S.. While that may be out of line with the airline’s decency standards, it does exemplify how guys lust after their stewardesses.

What makes them especially hot: ANA offers a line of anime-faced dolls wearing uniforms from the past and present -- maybe they’re intended for the kids, maybe not. Either way, it makes the real stewardesses even hotter.

Number 7 -- Cathay Pacific

One way Cathay Pacific marked their 60th anniversary in 2006 was with a fashion show, which highlighted their uniforms of the past and present. Instead of hiring professional models, Cathay opted to showcase their stewardesses on the catwalk -- an inspired choice if I may say. The company may stress service as the top quality to their stewardess candidates, but there’s an underlying sense of aesthetics present, too.

What makes them especially hot: Their stewardesses are equally adept at covering runways on a plane and onstage.

Number 6 -- Gulf Air

You might wonder if Gulf Air is the Hooters of the Mideast: They made headlines in 2004 when they reportedly targeted stewardess recruitment to China’s Sichuan province. Their claim was that the region’s young women possessed “patience with natural affinity.” “Cultural and aesthetic cultivation” were also key traits said to be considered. Even now, the airline asks for a full-length color photo at the formal interview.

What makes them especially hot: Gulf Air offers its Sky Nanny service on select flights, giving you a great excuse to interact with the beauties. Finally, there’s a practical reason for traveling with kids.

Number 5 -- Hooters Air It’s sadly ironic, but Hooters Air has gone bust. I understand if you need a moment to collect yourself. Two Hooters Girls on every flight was the kind of policy I applauded for obvious reasons. The leather seating, extra legroom and light atmosphere were also appreciated. Unfortunately, after a three-year run, high fuel costs helped to ground Hooters’ scheduled service in April 2006. For now, private charter is the extent of their operations.

What made them especially hot: In the event of a water landing, they had their own flotation devices.

Number 4 -- Qantas

Dustin Hoffman’s Rain Man (1988) may only have been willing to fly Qantas because they “never crashed” (actually, they have). I suspect the hot hostesses could lure you aboard even if Qantas weren’t safe. The airline’s requirements of an “excellent level of health and fitness” and “natural, genuine, engaging, and confident personalities” ensure your continued presence in their seats. Trans-Pacific flights are tough enough to endure without sub-par stewardesses. Qantas seems to understand this and staffs their routes accordingly. A word of advice: calling them sheilas is not endearing, and won’t score you any points.

What makes them especially hot: I’m fighting the urge to drop a “down under” reference here, so I’ll settle for saying it’s the accent mate.

Number 3 -- Southwest

There was a time when Southwest clearly wanted to be the sexiest carrier in the air. In the early years after they took to the air in 1971, the stewardess uniform included orange hot pants and white go-go boots. Recruiters plainly asked candidates to wear dresses so their legs could be checked out. “We were selling sex,” admits current president, Colleen Barrett. Times have changed, and so has the dress code. Southwest stewardesses now display more fabric than skin, but we’ve seen a lot of them with figures built for the minimalist attire. Given society’s love for retro and Southwest’s laid-back business approach, we can still at least hope for throwback uniforms.

What makes them especially hot: Genuinely great attitudes to go along with their looks.

Number 2 -- Thai Airways International

Thai Airways International has limited North American service, which is really unfortunate: the airline requires its stewardesses to be single, Thai nationals. They are also required to be at least 5’2” with proportional weight. Suffice it to say, it’s worth the effort to fly Thai. I suspect unattractive Thai women exist, but I have yet to see any evidence. From the moment you’re greeted with the traditional sawasdee, or welcoming gesture, I dare you to take your eyes off these stewardesses. Who needs any other in-flight entertainment?

What makes them especially hot: The fact that they’re required to be educated, too.

Number 1 -- Virgin Atlantic Take Virgin Atlantic’s progressive approach to business, factor in hot stewardesses and keep in mind the 2005 Durex sex survey that lists the UK as the seventh-busiest nation (four slots ahead of the U.S.), and I like the odds. It couldn’t bother me that a hysterical stewardess panicked during turbulence. Virgin’s red skirts are tailored to show off figures rather well; certainly better than most uniforms we’ve seen. Most flights on Virgin are long, but it doesn’t mean they’re dull.

What makes them especially hot: Combine the name Virgin with hot women… your imagination will take care of the rest.


TOPICS: Conspiracy
KEYWORDS: zoinks
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To: wagglebee

Same reason I knew you'd look!! LOL!!


41 posted on 08/14/2006 4:31:55 PM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant

I thought we weren't allowed to them stewardesses any more.


42 posted on 08/14/2006 4:35:49 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: Uriah_lost

"Virgin still wins if you don't find the "lowered eyes, submissive" type particularly attractive."

Singapore girls aren't "lowered eyes, submissive".

They're Mandarin princesses.


43 posted on 08/14/2006 4:37:22 PM PDT by angkor
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To: dc27

"the flight crew for a Singapore Airlines flight walked past. I was awestruck, mesmerized"

That's it. Same experience here.


44 posted on 08/14/2006 4:39:10 PM PDT by angkor
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To: wagglebee

I don't recall subscribing to the PC nonsense that has flooded the world. That's why I call meter maids meter maids, firemen firemen, and secretaries secretaries.

But my fave is still the beer wench. ;o)


45 posted on 08/14/2006 4:40:03 PM PDT by pissant
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To: angkor

They aren't and that's why I've enjoyed their company when I had the chance. The "fantasy image" of most western men is far from reality though.


46 posted on 08/14/2006 4:41:53 PM PDT by Uriah_lost (http://www.wingercomics.com/d/20051205.html)
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To: pissant

LMFAO!


47 posted on 08/14/2006 4:41:57 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: Mase

I agree that Singapore Airlines belongs on this list. Great airline service and very attractive crews.


48 posted on 08/14/2006 5:08:00 PM PDT by JonH
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To: pissant

Who would have guessed that virgins would rake as hotter than hooters?


49 posted on 08/14/2006 5:31:30 PM PDT by Tall_Texan (I wish a political party would come along that thinks like I do.)
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To: Tax-chick

Lately, the best looking stewardesses on my flights have been the gay ones. And, no, I'm not gay. The gals all look like Nurse Ratchet, except for the one black one whose butt was wider than the aisle she was walking through.


50 posted on 08/14/2006 5:36:13 PM PDT by Tall_Texan (I wish a political party would come along that thinks like I do.)
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To: Maceman
All told, when one considers the inconvenience and waiting time, it's faster to drive, which is what I'll be doing.

Now that you have to be at the airport three hours early, why would you not drive somewhere that takes less time to drive? Particularly if you're planning to rent a car when you get there.

51 posted on 08/14/2006 5:39:10 PM PDT by Tall_Texan (I wish a political party would come along that thinks like I do.)
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To: Uriah_lost
Funny how when people feel threatened they look to the biggest meanest looking sumbitch in the place for assistance.

Particularly when it comes to wrestling some shoe bomber or air rager. Those PYTs aren't particularly useful then.

52 posted on 08/14/2006 5:43:12 PM PDT by Tall_Texan (I wish a political party would come along that thinks like I do.)
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To: pissant

You have never flown Icelandic. Even the 40+ lead flight attendant on my last flight was an absolute babe. And the 20ish girls --- to die for!!


53 posted on 08/14/2006 7:03:53 PM PDT by blau993
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To: cripplecreek

Don't know about that but here's a little trivia. Stewardess is the longest word you can type on a standard US keyboard using ONLY the left hand. Betcha didn't know that?! :)


54 posted on 08/14/2006 7:10:46 PM PDT by NCC-1701 (RADICAL ISLAM IS A CULT. IT MUST BE ELIMINATED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH.)
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To: Maceman

That and I don't get treated like a perp the whole time I'm driving and I don't ever have to get cavity searched.


55 posted on 08/14/2006 7:41:10 PM PDT by festus (The constitution may be flawed but its a whole lot better than what we have now.)
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To: Maceman
I was planning to fly from Boston to NYC the day after tomorrow. But between the new nuttiness at the airports and the fact that nobody has figured out how to get to Logan Airport since the tunnel closed, I'm driving.

Same here. I was planning on flying but last week USAir raised the fare from $178 to $350. Then came the change in carry-on rules and there's also the problem of getting to and from Logan. Driving looks better every day.

56 posted on 08/14/2006 7:57:43 PM PDT by ladyjane
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To: Maceman

You should have taken Amtrak.


57 posted on 08/14/2006 8:04:52 PM PDT by Alter Kaker ("Whatever tears one sheds, in the end one always blows one's nose." - Heine)
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To: pissant
The hottest I've seen were on JAL and China Airlines (Taiwan).

Including any US airline (well, okay, maybe Hooters) is a ridiculous stretch of the imagination.

I actually wrote a customer comment to JAL begging them to buy out and operate a US carrier.

58 posted on 09/23/2006 5:19:27 PM PDT by JohnnyZ ("I respect and will protect a woman's right to choose" -- Mitt Romney, April 2002)
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To: NCC-1701
Stewardess is the longest word you can type on a standard US keyboard using ONLY the left hand.

Not counting 'stewardesses'.

59 posted on 09/23/2006 5:20:35 PM PDT by JohnnyZ ("I respect and will protect a woman's right to choose" -- Mitt Romney, April 2002)
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To: JohnnyZ
Not counting 'stewardesses'.

or stewardesseses

60 posted on 09/23/2006 5:23:02 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Insultification is the polar opposite of Niceosity)
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