Thread Jester Ping
A low-volume pinglist dedicated for all the thread jesters out there--you know who you are...8^)
FReepmail rzeznikj at stout or MikefromOhio to be added or struck from the list...
Two Names You Go By:
1. Defendent
2. Suspect / Perp
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Handcuffs
2. A codpiece
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Lack of felony charges
2. A blender
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Poking sticks at things
2. Running from the things I just annoyed by poking sticks at things
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. World piece
2. To poke sticks at more things
Two pets you had/have:
1. Pokey the Stick
2. Hillary Clinton
Two Favorite Sports
1. Olympic Stickpoking
2. Amateur Pokesticking
Two things you did last night:
1. Poked a stick at something
2. Ran from the thing I poked a stick at
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. The 'Y' (heh heh heh heh)
2. The Taco Queen (heh heh heh heh)
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Nobody lives there. Not even me.
2. N/A
Two things you like about yourself:
1. I haven't been convicted.
2. Yet.
Two things you ate today:
1. A taco. (heh heh heh heh)
2. A clam. (heh heh heh heh)
Two people that make you laugh:
1. You.
2. Whoever you are.
3. If that is your REAL name.
Longest car rides you've had:
1. The ride to my execution.
2. The ride back from my execution.
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Groundhog day.
2. Groundhog day.
3. Groundhog day.
4. Groundhog day.
5. Groundhog day.
6. Groundhog day.
7. Groundhog day.
8. Groundhog day.
9. Groundhog day.
10. Groundhog day.
11. Groundhog day.
12. Groundhog day.
13. Groundhog day.
14. Groundhog day.
15. Groundhog day.
16. Groundhog day.
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Chromium in liquid form.
2. Iron in liquid form.
Two past times you miss:
1. 11:53:12 AM EST on 07/31/2006
2. 1:30:00 AM EST on 3/12/1192
That'll learn me to post in chat.
Two Names You Go By:
1. WinOne4TheGipper
2. "Hey, @$$hole!"
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. a grin
2. glasses
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. accelerated hearing loss
2. gradual visual loss
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. probably would get banned for saying
2. see above
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1.whirrled peas
2. Castro dead
Two pets you had/have:
1.dodo bird
2. cobra
Two Favorite Sports
1. football
2. NASCAR
Two things you did last night:
1. would probably get banned for answering
2. slept
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. in front of tv
2. is there any other place
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. strange guy in attic
2. moonbat in basement
Two things you like about yourself:
1.N/A
2. N/A
Two things you ate today:
1. roast beef
2. some weird looking thing next to the above
Two people that make you laugh:
1. (tie) moonbats at DU
2. you, of course
Longest car rides you've had:
1.California to Hawaii
2. Vegas to Atlantic City
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Thanksgiving
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. vodka
2. whiskey
Two Names You Go By:
1. Honey
2. Sugarplum
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. My crown
2. My ruby slippers
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Adulation
2. Songs in my honor
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies: 1. Waving at the adoring crowds
2. Answering my fan mail
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. Sequins
2. Bangles
Two pets you had/have:
1. Emily (cat)
2. Marmee (cat)
Two Favorite Sports
1. Chaucer recitations
2. Quilting bees
Two things you did last night:
1. Held Marmee's ears in different ways so she'd look like different animals.
2. Convinced an SPCA official that Marmee really does like to play that game.
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Rivendell
2. Hobbiton
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Mark
2. Me
Two things you like about yourself: 1. My beauty, talent, and intelligence
2. My modesty
Two things you ate today: 1. Fairy Dust
2. Rainbows
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Jeff Foxworthy
2. Rita Rudner
Longest car rides you've had:
1. 13 hours
2. 12 hours
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Independence Day
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Moonbeams
2. Nectar
Two past times you miss:
1. My coronation day
2. Shopping for my magic wand
Two Names You Go By:
1. Boy
2. Frenchy
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Colostomy bag
2. My emo-goth-teen makeup
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Solitude
2. Privacy
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Trying new meth recipes
2. Writing to chicks in prison
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. Chicks in prison
2. A good meth recipe
Two pets you had/have:
1. Sammy the Spork Weasel
2. Head lice
Two Favorite Sports
1. Chicks in prison
2. Competitive delousing
Two things you did last night:
1. Made $20.00
2. Regretted it
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. McDonalds dumpster early in the day
2. The petting zoo
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. My Peewee Herman doll
2. His pals
Two things you like about yourself:
1. The way I look in my emo-goth-teen makeup
2. My ability to make $20.00
Two things you ate today:
1. Animals
2. Plants
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Michael Jackson
2. Macauley Culkin (team effort)
Longest car rides you've had:
1. The one with the angry Sicilian guys
2. The 1992 Van Halen tour
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Saturday
2. Sunday
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Canned beer
2. Bottled beer
Two past times you miss:
1. I never miss
2. Still ain't missing
Phishing. Answer the questions, and I can probably access you accounts by claiming to have lost "my" password, but being able to answer the security question, "Name of pet?"
Two Names You Go By:
1. Xen
2. Ralla
3. Dances on Tables
4. Margarita Maria Conchita Alonza Bonita Esperanza de Aragon
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. a merkin
2. fake eyelashes
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. cold lead
2. hot feet
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. the airport
2. the horse
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. pretzels
2. something to drink because those pretzels would be making me thirsty
Two pets you had/have:
1. Chia
2. rock
Two Favorite Sports
1. comedy
2. music
Two things you did last night:
1. played World of Warcraft
2. ate Boston Market veggies in accordance with Weight Watchers
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Rioja (a fabulous tapas place down the street)
2. Bacon and Hap's
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Xena's Guy
2. the Ferocious Feline Bebop Trio, also special guest the Dread Boston Salty
Two things you like about yourself:
1. my hair
2. my sense of humor
3. What's not to like?
Two things you ate today:
1. tuna salad
2. pickles
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Laz
2. Gunner
Longest car rides you've had:
1. Houston to Iowa and back
2. that was the longest by about a factor of 10
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Halloween
2. April Fools' Day
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. beer
2. diet Coke
Two past times you miss:
1. that time we saw that guy
2. when we went to that place to eat
I never pass on an opportunity to talk about myself!
Two Names You Go By:
1. She Who Must Be Obeyed
2. Madame
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Bandaid
2. Freckles
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. To be obeyed, quickly and without question
2. I like my pedestal...
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Spinning yarn
2. Riding around on a tractor
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. A log splitter
2. Razor wire (a long story)
Two pets you had/have:
1. Dachshunds
2. Angora rabbits
Two Favorite Sports
1. Sumo
2. Bull riding
Two things you did last night:
1. Cleaned out the barns
2. Ate seven Kool-pops
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. any steak house
2. any chop house
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Me
2. My husband
Two things you like about yourself:
1. I'm smarter than anyone I know
2. I'm better looking, too
Two things you ate today:
1. Chicken Dinty Moore
2. Seven more Kool-pops
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Lewis Black
2. That wacky Cynthia McKinney
Longest car rides you've had:
1. Phoeniz AZ to Wasgington DC
2. Washington DC to Miami FL
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Thanksgiving
2. I hate all the others
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Pinot Grigio
2. Northern Neck Ginger Ale (no other will do)
Two past times you miss:
1. 25 to life
2. The Crusades - I missed them by quite a bit...
LOL!!!!!!!!!
Two Names You Go By:
1. My name is Tijeras Slim
2. You can call me Tijeras Slim
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Spurs
2. Shoulder Holster
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. '56 Chevy pickup
2. AAA membership
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Itching
2. Scratching
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. For Ben Affleck to be hit by a falling safe
2. See # 1
Two pets you had/have:
1. Pete the pocket gopher
2. Headlice as a kid
Two Favorite Sports
1. Racing Horned Toads
2. Racing Gila Monsters
Two things you did last night:
1. How the hell should I know I was asleep
2.
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Kitchen
2. Dining room
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Slim
2. Mrs. Slim
Two things you like about yourself:
1. My comb-over
2. All appendages still attached
Two things you ate today:
1. Is a 3 Musketeers one too many?
2.
Two people that make you laugh:
1. My late brother-in-law
2. A greyhound bus driver I met in 1975
Longest car rides you've had:
1. I don't remember but it took a whole case of Bud.
2.
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Repudiation day
2. Boxing day (I always watch Rocky)
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Scotch
2. More Scotch
Two past times you miss:
1. Y2K
2. The Day the Music died
Thread Jester Ping
A low-volume pinglist dedicated for all the thread jesters out there--you know who you are...8^)
FReepmail rzeznikj at stout or MikefromOhio to be added or struck from the list...
Here's what I would answer:
"Not another questionaire... no I don't want to fill it in... no, I'm not worried about the world ending... I don't want that stupid booklet... get your foot out of my door... calling the cops... after I shoot you...."
OK Laz...8^)
Two Names You Go By:
1. That Guy
2. Milton
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Clothes
2. More Clothes
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Beer and Nachos on demand
2. Half of her money
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Watching Paint Dry
2. Ironing Shirts
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. My own 727
2. A private island filled with food, beer, and, er, never mind...
Two pets you had/have:
1. Dog
2. Another Dog
Two Favorite Sports
1. Mario Golf
2. Madden 2005
Two things you did last night:
1. Ironed Shirts
2. Watched paint dry
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Dining Room Floor
2. Over the Kitchen Sink
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Define "house"
2. See above.
Two things you like about yourself:
1. Excruciatingly Boring
2. Abundant Source of Natural Gas
Two things you ate today:
1. Month-old sushi
2. Pepto-Bismol
Two people that make you laugh:
1. People who fill out stupid questionnaires
2. Darwin Award recipients
Longest car rides you've had:
1. Twenty minutes to the grocery store
2. See above.
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. National Buy a Fake Tree Day
2. National Rent a Port-a John Month
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Liquid Plumr
2. Muriatic Acid
Two past times you miss:
1. March 30, 1917 2:42PM UTC
2. July 7, 90 BC 10:04AM UTC
Two Names You Go By:
1. McDonalds
2. Mikes Diner and Taxidermy
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Shoe
2. Shoe
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Me Time
2. Distance
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Starring blankly at a wall
2. Listening to the voices
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. All cars to stay 1000 feet (or more) from all motorcycles.
2. The voices to stop.
Two pets you had/have:
1. Deleted by Poster
2. Deleted by Poster
Two Favorite Sports
1. Sumo Badminton
2. SCUBA Skydiving
Two things you did last night:
1. Paris
2. Nicole
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Breakfast: In my car parked outside the Lottery Office while holding the winning ticket.
2. Dakar, Senegal in January after a really long drive.
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Just the voices
2. In my head
Two things you like about yourself:
1. The rate at which my hair grows.
2. Wanna see?
Two things you ate today:
1. Humble pie
2. Preservatives, snout, hooves, other.
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Howard Dean
2. Voice #3
Longest car rides you've had:
1. Autopia
2. Ensenada to Cerro Colorado: 80 miles $1800
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Billie
2. Doc
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Fountain of Youth
2. Water from garden hose
Two past times you miss:
1. Just before the Big Bang
2. The last Ice Age was pretty cool.
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. T-Shirt
2. You put this whole thing together for this question, didn’t you?
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Truth
2. A really nice MLT
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Sleeping
2. Eating
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. A clean house
2. My kids to have a good life
Two pets you had/have:
1. Australian Shepherd (have)
2. Lab mix puppy (have)
Two Favorite Sports
1. Football
2. Basketball
Two things you did last night:
1. Made the city safe for decent people
2. Slept
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Greek Flame Taverna, Winter Park
2. The Columbia Restaurant, St. Petersburg
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Not Me
2. Ida No
Two things you like about yourself:
1. I have all my parts except my tonsils
2. Most of them work
Two things you ate today:
1. Nothing
2. Nada (I just woke up – give me time)
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Mr. Chanticleer
2. Lazamataz and the gang at the OFST(it's really only one guy with multiple screen names)
2. The Longest car rides you've had:
1. Winter Haven, Florida to Tempe, Arizona
2. Any ride as a kid with my father
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Easter
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Ice cold Coke in a those little bottles
2. Good Hot cocoa
Two past times you miss:
1. Hanging in the front yard, chatting with the neighbors.
2. Being able to let the kids roam free on a summer day.
Wow! I had a stick named Pokey, too! (littermates?)
Two Names You Go By:
1. Andy
2. Manny
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Shirt
2. Trousers
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Peace
2. Friendship
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. writing
2. reading
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. independence
2. agent
Two pets you had/have:
1. Mini chuahua
2. Mini poodle
Two Favorite Sports
1. Football
2. Football
Two things you did last night:
1. Watched Fox news
2. cooked a spaghetti dinner
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Logans
2. Red Lobster
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. Wife
2. Me
Two things you like about yourself:
1. God's gift to think
2. Sense of humor
Two things you ate today:
1. Bananna
2. nothing
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Rodney D. (RIP)
2. Lewis Black (I know)
Longest car rides you've had:
1. Alabama to Texas
2. Pennsylvania to Alabama
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Thanksgiving
2. Fourth of July
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Coffee
2. Water
Two past times you miss:
1. College
2. Family young
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. A nice button down Polo shirt off the neighbor’s clothesline
2. Your daddy’s bathrobe
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Jennie Lyn Berntson
2. Tools
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Fishing
2. Woodworking
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. Steamed Crabs
2. Jennie Lyn Berntson (a woman with power tools... can you say "chub"?)
Two pets you had/have:
1. Black Lab (have)
2. Mini Dachshund (you can have her if you want)
Two Favorite Sports
1. Fishing
2. Sailing
Two things you did last night:
1. Watched “Islands in the Stream”
2. Dreamt of Jennie Lyn and tools.
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Ma Ruby’s - Harbour Island, Bahamas
2. Bloody Mary’s - Bora Bora
People who live at or reside in your house:
1. The Attic Lady (I think she lived here a long, long time ago, shhhhh….)
2. Her dog shows up from time to time also. (We call him "Tige"... he lives in there too.)
Two things you like about yourself:
1. My tastes
2. My heritage
Two things you ate today:
1. Fig Newtons
2. Bang-Bang Shrimp!
Two people that make you laugh:
1. Steven Wright
2. Dom Deluise
The Longest car rides you've had:
1. The ride home the day my dad passed away
2. Hatteras to Key West (coastal route, but I was in no hurry)
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Talk Like a Pirate Day (Arrrrr!)
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Rum Runners
2. Pepsi
Two past times you miss:
1. Fishing with my dad.
2. Sailing across the sound on a lazy summer afternoon.