[2banana]

Just remember - you will be pushing 60 when the the kids are in the teens - Stay in shape!

[SF Republican]

We started when I was 44, takes a lot of energy and patience but it is the greatest thing I ever did. My wife and I have the most beautiful little 6 year old boy, and 5 year old daughter that ever existed.

[Andonius_99]

Tell you what, I'll bookmark this and come back in 10 years when I'm in your shoes to see what the response is as I seem to be headed down that very same road, LOL! Good luck with what you do find out though.

[Old Professer]

My son was 18 when his mom announced that he was going to have a baby sister; come November, just about on my daughter's 23rd birthday, she is going to have a baby boy.

I wouldn't trade the experience for anything; not even the life of a rich man or a spoiled brat celebrity.

The biggest difference the second time around is that you've lost your fear; they're not breakable like fine china and they're not disposable like the diapers they come wrapped in -- if you can manage to balance the difference between those two concepts you'll have the time of your life.

[redlocks322]

The only thing I would say is: if you find you cannot become pregnant and before spending thousands on ivf - please consider adopting - there are so many children who need a loving home and a chance at a good life.

[GrandEagle]

I will be 50 this year. My wife just turned 40.
Our children are 10, 7, 4, and 2.
I believe that I have a lot more patience than I would have at a younger age. I'll admit though, I do worry about living long enough to get them through college.

Be sure there is someone you trust to raise them and have plenty of life insurance.

Cordially,
GE

[nyconse]

I got pregnant the old fashioned way at 40 and had a healthy baby. I got pregnant the same way at 42, but miscarried. The Doc said 'no more babies for me'. I have four children. Three were born between 35 and 42. Good luck! Also, a girl I work with had a surrogate Mother-very expensive, but she has a beautiful baby. donated eggs and husband's sperm. This girl had a complete hysterectomy in her 30's

[Paradox]

I've got two kids now, early forties, that are just 2 and 4 years old. Honestly, I wish I were younger so that I could keep up with them better. Thats the only real drawback I think. That and the fact that I may not live to see my own grandkids, but hey, if I didn't have these kids, then I'd SURELY never see any grandkids. Health issues are a big priority for me now, more so than ever before.

That said, I absolutely adore my kids, makes anything I ever did, or ever felt, pale in comparison. And at my age, I'd hope that the greater wisdom I have will help me raise them better than I might have when I was younger (I was a liberal at one time... I shudder at the thought).

[twigs]

When I went to childbirth classes, I met a couple whose children were in college and they were pregnant with an oops child. And they were completely as excited as the rest of us. I wanted a child into my 40's, but hubby wouldn't let me. I'll regret it till the day I die. If you and your husband agree and you get a thorough physical checkup and an ok by your doctor, then go for it if you want. Yes, you'll be older and may feell different around other parents. But more women are doing that, so you won't be the only one. Don't listen to the naysayers if it's what you and your husband want to do.

[leda]

i was 24, 30 and 36 (ok, not quite 40) when we had our kiddos.
i gained amazing amounts of weight with the first, blew up
like a balloon, and had terrible blood pressure problems. it
was pretty tough delivering that 10 pounder too. the second
squirt (lucky me he was only 6lb 5 oz!) was induced a month
early because of decreasing amniotic fluids. honestly, our
last, at 36!, was by far the easiest of the three.

at 41, if its gods will we have a fourth, we will be thrilled.
hey, might even be easier than the last one was! :D

good luck to you!

[GrandEagle]

Just as a side note, I would love to have about 3 or 4 more, but at 50 it is time to stop me thinks.....

[Skooz]

I am 46 and our second daughter just turned 8 months yesterday. She is a blessing and joy beyond description. I cannot tell you how happy we are that she is here.

We seem to appreciate her more than we did when our first daughter was a baby (she's now 15). We are more patient, and don't mind all the little things that come with having an active little critter who needs constant attention.

I simply cannot recommend it highly enough.

[lovecraft]

Well, though not quite the same age, my wife is having similar worries. We got married when I was 32 and she 31 and we've been married just under 2 years now. We are looking to try for a child by next year and she worries about her age.

The main reason she worries is that other women who have already had children can't help but offer her advice like "I couldn't imagine having children after 30!". Needless to say, everytime someone offers those sort of opinions it makes my life miserable because it depresses my wife. I'd appreciate any words of wisdom or advice that I could pass on to her when these harpies voice their unsolicited opinions.

[silverleaf]

You might want to check out the yahoo group GAARP (gracefully aging adoptive refined parents) for discussions of parenting young kids after 40.

And good luck on conceiving, even with IVF (and donor egg at this point). The odds are pretty slim in your 40's without significant intervention or without great blessed good fortune (and maybe good genes from a family of woemn that bore children late in life). In your 40's most doctors will tell you not to wait too long to seek fertility assistance if you are actively trying and not succeeding. One of the great myths of the woman's movement is about being able to have it all when YOU think it's time. Nature often has other plans for our body than what we want

[Coldwater Creek]

Go for it!

My grandmother was 41 when she had her second set of twins. There was 17 years between them and the last set. The oldest child in the family had already finished college and was in her first year of teaching.

Our DIL had her last child at 44 and is having the time of her life.

My son joked that his oldest 21 was making her mark on the world while, the youngest was still making her mark on the wall.

I had my oldest at 18 and the youngest at 26. If I could do it over I would have waited a long time to get started.

[Ros42]

I had my daughter when I was 24...I am now 44 and raising my grandson who is 14 months old. I definitely see the benefit in waiting till your older to have children...seems I have much more patience and "wisdom" now. LOL

[fredhead]

Five years ago my wife and I adopted a beautiful baby girl. She was one day old. Her birth mother was 15 at the time.

Now we have a lovely and rambunctious five-year old. My wife and I tried for 11 years, but because of her medical problems, we couldn't have a child. We cherish this little girl even more because of that.

There are times when I want to put my head through the wall. That's to be expected with a 5 year old. But the good times outweigh the bad. Like this past spring when our daughter caught her first fish!!! Watching her get so smart, she sees road signs and asks what they spell.

The hardest part for me has been because I'm selfish. I have to share my wife's love and that's been hard.

[fredhead]

I forgot to say that I'm 47 and my wife is 42.

[OldFriend]

Had my son at age 37 and my daughter at age 40.

Most people think I'm 20 years younger than I am. Parenting will age you or keep you young! It's up to you.

Every minute has been a joy. Stayed at home, thought I'd lose my mind at times, but looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.

Do find time for dates with hubby tho.

[NativeNewYorker]

It's both the hardest job and the most fun you'll ever have.