Posted on 07/21/2006 5:56:55 AM PDT by CT-Freeper
Did you ever notice that the gas grill is the man's domain? Even in homes where the man of the house has never prepared a single meal in the kitchen -- unless you count pulling a package of Pop Tarts out of the box -- as soon as it's decided that dinner will be cooked on the gas grill, the man of the house eagerly dons his "Born to Barbecue" apron and announces to no one in particular, "OK, let's do some grillin'!!"
Of course, there are some men who enjoy all forms of cooking and know their way around the kitchen quite well. And then there are normal guys: those who wouldn't know which room in the house actually is the kitchen except that when they first moved into the house and rolled the refrigerator right next to the reclining chair in the living room (a very good location if you ask me), their wives exclaimed, "The fridge goes in the kitchen! No, honey, that's the dining room. Over here. See the linoleum floor, the sink, the stove? That's right. Good boy. Here's a doggie treat. Now go out to the truck and bring in the sofa. No, honey, that's a closet door. The front door is over there. That's right. Good boy."
Men are usually in charge of the gas grill because it employs an element of nature that gets men very excited: bikinis. No wait, wrong element of nature. Gas grills utilize a different element of nature that gets men just as excited, if not more excited, than bikinis: fire.
Thousands of years ago it was men who first discovered fire. Women did not discover fire because they were back home deciding which corner of the cave was the best place to locate the refrigerator. Just like that famous Greek guy, Archimedes, who exclaimed, "Eureka!" when he discovered the bubble bath, the first guy to discover fire -- his name was Ooog -- also uttered a memorable word. Upon discovering fire, Ooog exclaimed, "Aaaiiieeee!!!" The fire Ooog discovered was a brush fire caused by lightning.
Ooog looked at it curiously, and then thought to himself, "I wonder if that is just as refreshing to jump into as a cool stream?" Moments later, a smoldering Ooog declared his historic pronouncement.
Soon after, it was men who discovered that food tastes a lot better when it's placed in fire for a while. The specific guy who first discovered this important fact -- his name was Mooog -- offered these historic words, "Not bad, but Ooog would taste even better with ketchup."
Gas grilles are pretty much the only way for modern men to be in touch with their primitive side these days. Face it, in our society we are not allowed to have fun with fire. If you even own a cigarette lighter the Smoking Nazis want to lock you up. It's now against the law to burn piles of leaves in the Fall. If you start a fire in the fireplace, someone is sure to say, "Fireplace soot is bad for little Leonard's asthma! Put that out at once or I'll call the Soot Nazis!" And I need not mention that in these "politically correct" times, it is no longer socially acceptable to entertain the neighborhood kids by breaking out Uncle Mike's World War II surplus flamethrower.
So modern men are basically flame-less these days -- except when it comes to the gas grill season. Then, thankfully, we are allowed to singe our eyebrows and arm hair to our heart's content.
Guys, in the immortal words of our pioneering forebears, please join me in a hearty, "Aaaiiieeee!!!"
Bill Dunn is a free-lance writer who resides in Torrington. He can be reached via his Web site at: www.boomertrek.com.
Charred Meat, Beer, Chips, Salsa -the four basic food groups
Whenever I grilled swordfish, I would put foil down on the grill. And lavish it with garlic butter. And you only need to turn it once.
SD
Gas grills are for pu... uh, I mean WIMPS! Yeah, that's the ticket. Whining, miserable, metrosexual girlie men...
I haven't tried salmon on this grill yet.
Harris Teeter (where we shop) has it on sale from time to time and I have smoked it on my old Weber. Good stuff!
Hope you have a good weekend, I am headed to lunch now.
Cooking spray. I use cast iron grates on my grill. I make sure those are seasoned, and I spray some cooking spray on em. Then you can also spray a little right on the fish. If your grill is hot, you just let em sit there for a few minutes, turn once, baddabing, it's time to eat.
I was talking to a fellow the other day who was related by marriage to the guy who holds the patent on those things. He apparently is a very wealthy gentleman.
Heck, I'm on my second one. After about 6 or 7 years, on the first one, the little tabs that hold the charcoal grate rusted and fell out. It was back to Sears for another. $15 bucks? You can't go wrong. I can count on dropping the meat on the grill before I finish my second beer!
The inventor deserves every penny he made off of that thing.
Thanks. If they are biting tonight I'll do a little experimentation.
I use a non-stick grilling grid when I do salmon on the grill.
http://www.cooking.com/products/shprodde.asp?SKU=114057
See my #110. It's an easily-solved problem.
I've always liked the design of the Weber kettle. Cooks evenly from anywhere on the grill. Now, about those cheapie grates they use...
Pre-Katrina, I had a New Braunfels Santa Fe grill. I think Char-broil bought the design and you see them at Home Depot. That was one fine grill, and it served me well.
After moving into the new house, I went with a gas grill. Got a Vermont Castings 4-burner grill. Great design, has the porcelain-coated cast-iron grates. Cooks fantastic, but it's still not a charcoal grill.
I'm still going to get me another charcoal grill, possibly a Big Green Egg so I can do some good smoking also.
LOL
Careful if it rains.
Good point - ZOT!
Very nice looking grill. Who sells them?
On the subject of corn.
Two years ago we bought some at Fresh Mkt. It was unusual.
Obviously a hybrid, it was siamese. Looking from the end it was oval, the silk end had two ends, as if you had taken two ears ,laid them side by side and squashed them together.
I haven't been able to find or even find someone that has heard of the variety.
Absolutely the sweetest corn I've ever tasted. Far sweeter than silver queen.
I bought mine at Lowe's.
That's a really unusual-sounding variety of corn. I can't say I've ever seen that.
Silver queen isn't all that sweet, really. We have planted Bodacious (a hybrid) for the past few years. It's so sweet!
You HAVE to try it if & when you can find some.
LOL. That was Mr. Mew's recommendation, actually. The only things I cook over a fire are wienies and marshmallows :)
First one I had was one I made from 2 paint cans.
Cut the bottom out of one can, turned it upside down. Got a small piece of diamond mesh and used that in the top can sitting on the upside down rim.
Cut a couple 'mouse holes' in the bottom can.
Three pieces of newspaper and about 15 min. produced a gallon can of fully involved charcoals.
I bought my last one recently as prices of the diamond mesh was more than a ready made one. Plus paint cans are now plastic.
Kudos to you, but that's sad that the fathers aren't more involved in their girls' activities.
On the grill issue: I'll do the backyard thing, but I'll leave the 6-hours on a VERY hot day laboring over burgers and dogs to the menfolk! hee hee
OH, they all are now.. I think their wives brow beat them to the point that they were sick of hearing my name.
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