Posted on 07/14/2006 3:27:18 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout
The ***OFFICIAL*** Weekend Singles Thread—July 14-16
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.
Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.
Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.
Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
Chuck Norris can make water run uphill.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIPped into pieces.
Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. No one, and I mean NO ONE can beat Chuck Norris at tennis. Except maybe Victoria Delsoul. But it would be a close match.
Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed with a chainsaw.
The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Been off line for two days.. will check in again later. Need to catch up on Pings, Email & the news.. Man talk about withdrawal. I have it bad!
yum.. cheese been soup sounds good. Mozie.. Wisconsin connection here!
I'm not too picky--but then again, I've been trying to lay off on the grease ball burgers...
I was in APhiO like Clinton. I don't want to have my arteries Roto-Rootered like Clinton LOL...8^)
Besides, what would Kate think? 8^)
Yep, Beer Cheese Soup is mighty tasty...
...especially when made with Wisconsin beer. 8^)
I started just "looking at" the pilates DVDs to see if it is something I can handle. I think it is.
But the truth to the matter is that unless I find something to train for and someone to train with me, I just won't self-motivate.
It appears I'm done with the gain and starting to lose again...
...now I just have to "finish the job" 8^)
I'm not sure I get it--was that the punch line?
Thanx...8^)
Yep, FR withdrawal is downright nasty...
When I lived in Wisconsin, I developed a taste for brats--I was surprised to find that they sell them at McDonald's there (don't think they're on the menu anywhere else).
Hehehe!
If you don't know the difference, someone might want to take you to lunch...
Trust me, I know the difference between the former and the latter.
One is something we should not be talking about here, the other is a double-decker greaseball burger put out by McDonalds...8^)
Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter
3 cups chicken broth
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup chives
1 cup flour
16 ounces cheez whiz
6 ounces beer
1 1/2 cup cream
Directions:
Melt butter. Add broth and add small amount of broth to flour; mix, then add to butter mixture. Remove from heat, beat with wire whip. Add remaining ingredients. Cook on low in slow cooker 4 hours or all day. Top with popcorn
Per serving: 293 Calories (kcal); 23g Total Fat; (72% calories from fat); 5g Protein; 15g Carbohydrate; 70mg Cholesterol; 440mg Sodium Food Exchanges: 1 Grain(Starch); 0 Lean Meat; 0 Vegetable; 0 Fruit; 4 1/2 Fat; 0 Other Carbohydrates
This recipe for Beer Cheese Soup serves/makes 8
recipe #2
Ingredients:
3/4 cup butter
1/2 cup thinly diced celery
1/2 cup flour
5 cups chicken stock
2 tablespoons Parmesan Romano Cheese
1/4 teaspoon Accent (MSG)
1/2 cup thinly diced carrots
1/2 cup thinly diced onion
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
6 ounces cheddar cheese
1 bottle (11 oz size) beer
salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
Melt butter; saute vegetables until done but not browned. Blend in flour, dry mustard and MSG. Slowly add chicken stock, bring to a boil; cook, stirring, 5 minutes. Blend in cheddar cheese, Parmesan-Romano cheese, and beer. Let simmer over low heat for 30 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Serve with French Bread and tossed salad.
Notes: This Beer Cheese soup was served for years at the Coburg Inn in Coburg OR.
I don't have the recipe, but when I was up at UW-Stout, one of the campus groups made a mean Beer Cheese Soup (with Leinie's beer, of course).
Will get you added to the official list over the weekend(it is accessible via the nuts & bolts thread).. for this weekend Rzez &/or Phil will ping you to the Sat/Sun edition...
Welcome!!!!!!
OK, will make note of it.
I would imagine so--especially if Chuck Norris invented Beer Cheese Soup...
Have you got a lower cal recipe or can I just increase the veggies and broth?
I just thought it would be a slightly better accepted joke compared to another one I heard today.
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