James Taylor Is Top 'Wuss'

WUSA ^ | 07/12/06

[Pokey78]

And the loser is ... James Taylor? Sure to raise the ire of Sweet Baby James fans everywhere, Blender magazine has placed the sensitive folk-rocker atop its list of the 25 biggest wusses ever. The roster in the August issue (on newsstands Tuesday) accuses Taylor of initiating "an era of confessional, listen-to-my-troubles singer/songwriters and turn(ing) self-examination into a hallmark of the baby-boom generation."

Who else deserves wedgies? Nick Lachey, at No. 2, for a post-divorce disc that "wallows in so much misery and self-pity it makes Morrissey sound like the Pussycat Dolls."

Next are Dan Fogelberg, Boyz II Men, Peter Cetera, Kenny G, Rascal Flatts, Babyface and Chris Martin of Coldplay. His wussiest moment? "Being derided as 'a bit wimpy' by noted ruffian Charlotte Church." In 10th place is Hilary Duff, "a sex- and drug-free sprite best summed up by the name of her next movie character: Sunshine Goodness."

A round-up of sissy songs includes Taylor Hicks' Do I Make You Proud and You're Beautiful by James Blunt, "this generation's Debby Boone, only not as pretty."

[sittnick]

Does anybody remember "Rocky" by Austin Roberts? (not to be confused with the movie theme.) I think he might get honorable mention.

[Darkwolf377]

Wow, wonder what the albedo is from that balding head!

[Mike Bates]

As non-wussy as:

I've been alive forever
And I wrote the very first song
I put the words and the melodies together
I am music
And I write the songs

I disliked this wimp even before I knew he's a Democrat.

[andy58-in-nh]

Rascal Flatts is to country music what chick flicks are to film.

You're not kidding. I heard their next concert will be sponsored by Midol.

[Clemenza]

Blender "Should've Known Better" and named Richard "Mullet" Marx (whom I supposedly resembled, haircut and all, when I was 13, according to my classmates). It "Don't Mean Nothin'", as most folks DON'T remember Richard Marx. He had a hot wife, however.

[Right Cal Gal]

Mike - that was written by Beach Boy Bruce Johnston, actually - I couldn't BELIEVE that piece 0'crap won the Grammy for "Song of the Year."

[Darkwolf377]

I know this will be an unpopular choice, and he had talent, BUT...

Roy Orbison was a mega-wuss.

[Fresh Wind]

You can see why he's Clinton's favorite.

Ha! As if I needed another reason to hate his "music"!

[Mike Bates]

Have you ever heard Ray Stevens' take off on Barry Manilow songs?

Nah, I missed that. Ray, who was OK in my book with songs like "Ahab the Arab" went pretty wussy with "Everything Is Beautiful." He must never have seen Hillary without her makeup on.

[Mike Bates]

Wasn't Bruce a Bogus Beach Boy, as in not a "real" one?

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

There's name for people like him and it starts with a "W".

Why are you reticent to type the word 'whigger'?

It offends no one of any ethnic minority and demeans only those who need a dope slap anyway.

Use it freely, use it proudly.
As freely as you would use the word 'niggardly' or 'Schwarzenegger'.

[dinoparty]

Don't forget..."Steppin' Out"
by Joe Jackson

[sittnick]

Ahh, give Ray a pass. "The Streak" was certainly a non-wussy novelty song. My mom could not handle his country (non-wussy) version of Johnny Mathis' "Misty." My wife, who heard Stevens' first, couldn't handle Johnny Mathis' wussy version.

Anybody who can take a song with wussy lyrics like Misty and de-wussify it cannot be considered a wuss even with "Everything is Beautiful" in the roster. Also keep in mind, the opening lines of the Stevens version ("Jesus loves the little children") would probably mean that it cannot be played in a public school. So even "Everything is Beautiful" has it's good points. Schmaltzy does not equal wuss.

[andy58-in-nh]

I disagree. Roy Orbison was a sensitive and shy man to be sure, and many of his songs are about the pain of loss. But they also were about the force of redemption. And the man had a voice that could fill a cathedral. He sang with a power and raw emotion that no "wuss" could ever match.

[Right Cal Gal]

He came in to replace Brian Wilson when he didn't want to tour anymore. First song he's audible in is "California Girls". He left, came back, and now tours as "The Beach Boys" with Mike Love. To me, calling yourselves "the Beach Boys" without a Wilson Brother onstage is like Ringo Starr billing his group "The Beatles."

[McLynnan]

listen-to-my-troubles singer/songwriters

If that's the criteria, Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" is big on my tearjerker list, but I wouldn't classify him as a wuss.

[Barb4Bush]

I grant your that Longer stinks, but I just love "Leader of the Band". I cry everytime I hear it. I may have just proved their point, huh?

[Right Cal Gal]

I must admit myself that Leader of the Band is one of my guilty pleasures....however, Run for the Roses, not so much.

[TexasCajun]

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A Wigger (alternatives: Wigga, Whigger, Wafrican-American, Wangster) is a stereotype of a Caucasian person who emulates phrases, mannerisms, and fashion commonly and stereotypically associated with Black or hip-hop cultures. The stereotype of the wigger usually involves a young Caucasian person who generally knows little about their own background, or the culture they are appropriating, with the exception of the music, style, and slang associated with that culture, attributes generally understood as not fully representing any culture.

Wiggers. (Note: Infiltration is spelt Inflatration)The term is a portmanteau combining the words "white nigger", or "wannabe nigger," and is thus it has historically been used in a derogatory manner.

[Mike Bates]

I still think Ray jumped the shark. I'm surprised, BTW, that your wife heard his cover of "Misty" before Johnny's. That was out when I was a kid, a very long time ago.

Wussiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.