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Well this is not happening to me but my buddy that I've been hanging with since grade school, almost 30 years, met a girl online from Canada. He will be 41 next month and she is 25. They chatted online and he brought her down here to live. The things that concerns me is that he brought her to live with him and his mother without at least him going ng up to meet her a few time to see if she would work out. In short, he is the type where "he leaps before he looks."

To make the story more weird, she lacks job skills, can't hold down a job. She did get Hepatitis C from her former boyfriend who did drugs, she was treated for it in time and there is a strong chance for a cure (75%) but she has to take a last test to make sure she is OK. She told me this but not my buddy. His mom is on kidney dialysis

One thing that concens me is that I think he is tossing his life away, he does have money problems from time to time, sells things at flea markets and delivers newspapers. Although she helps him in that, she has no job to bring money in and my friend refuses to work at a place with a boss above him, wants to work for himself. I know I have money problems myself, but at least I have a steady, guaranteed income at a famous company and get up at normal hours, He goes to bed at 5 or 6 PM and gets up at 2 AM for the newspapers, it seems like he lacks a good life and we don't get together as much.

I know with free will and all, it is up to him to "have a come to religion" epiphany in life and it is not my role to dictate his life, it just hurts me to see im go down this route. I figure I would tlel the story here for the reaction as well as starting on topic for once.

Did your friend and the Canadian girl at leat date a bit before he asked her to come live with him? How long did they chat online?

Maybe with the hours he keeps he just appreciates the companionship... if there are any problems there I guess it depends on if she is really adding to the expenses and still not bringing in any income.

If you have more details on their "courtship" please share!

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and I agree that his situation doesn't sound good. I can certainly understand how something like that could happen. I'm about his age, and if I had a chance with a woman who was 25, I'd be strongly tempted to overlook some things. I can't see myself overlooking as much as he has, but I can understand being greatly enticed by someone young and attractive.

As you said, he has free will to live his life as he pleases. I guess the good thing about his money problems is that he may not have much for her to steal. I've worked hard and built enough savings that I guard it carefully. As a result, I'm less inclined to associate with women who seem untrustworthy in any way. I hate being single, but I'm not willing to spend myself on someone who is not worth the efforts I've made in life.

Thanks for an interesting lead-in post.

Bill

your friend sounds very lonely, gullible & not too bright worldly wise...I guess it will be the school of hard knocks for him along the way. It must break your heart to be able to see this happening & look at it objectively.

The rose colored glasses of lust/love/neediness really throw things off

Anything you say will be construed as jealousy possibly.

Perhaps their salvation would be too really work on finding a home business they can do together. My niece earns about 1000/mo selling things on e-bay. she buys at thrift places, garage sales etc. She has 5 kids is only 34 & loves being home. Her hubby has job/benefits but it doesn't go far with that large a family (and they all have mega medical problems)