You have given it every possible chance, as we both know. But the problem with Linux though is not just the software, it's these lunatics like FLAMING DEATH who are always goading you into wasting more time every year trying it.
You're just starting to figure out what I learned several years ago, that the "free" software movement is a bunch of ridiculous hype, pushed by kooks that will do anything to make software free. Sure some free utils are always good, but running your O/S on welfare is a big mistake.
Just ignore the resident fud-flinging troll. He's cranky today because he misread something.
If you want, you can freepmail me if you decide to try Mepis. I'll help you any way I can.
One of these days you'll be brave enough to tell your opinions directly to the owner of this site.