Posted on 04/23/2006 8:34:31 PM PDT by Number57
Last year I found out my daughter had/was suffering endometriosis. She had surgery, among other things, and was very ill.
How did I find out? I ran into the very same daughter at the store, and she told me.
I was blown away. I never knew...
Here I was, her father, and she's telling me it's okay, she almost died but didn't.
It seems like I remember a certain person who gave birth to her, right? A certain person I loved & then paid child support to and helped with other sh!t with for many many years and dollars?
That freaked me out. That my daughter could be that ill and her mom didn't let me know (I am listed in the book, as are my parents, sisters and brother. A message could have been sent to me within minutes).
Now I hear from my last ex-wife, who happened to run into my 1st ex-wife's mom at Wal Mart (where she is a cashier), and #1 wife's mom told #2 wife: "It's A MIRACLE!! She wasn't supposed to able to have children, and she's pregnant!"
Yee-haw.
As her father, I had mixed feelings.
GREAT! She's able to have kids. Crap! She's only 19 Sh!t! They're not married Err.. *checks bank account* Huh? Haven't even met the guy
Etc.
I'm gonna be 42 soon. Happy oldness to me.
Congrats. This is a good thing !
Try to be positive !
Your daughter needs her father more than ever now. She will always remember how you were there for her..and no one can take that away, not even an "ex".
congratulations!
There is nothing, but nothing, better than a grandchild. Show your daughter a lot of love and support. She needs it. Do everything you can for your daughter, the father, and the baby.
This is the greatest compliment I ever received, the highest honor: I was driving my granddaughters back and forth for swimming and fun. The older one said, "We are lucky to have a grampy like you."
And I am blessed by God to have them.
Congratualtions! Will this be Number58? LOL
I know what you're going through. It's been about that bad in my life at times, with conern to the kids. I have a grandson out there that I don't get to see very often. My former wife is so insecure that she throws a hissy fit if my son and his wife don't cater to her. They let her manipulate them, and that's the way it is.
Good luck to you. Take it all in stride. You did what you could. Now they're on their own.
I am feeeling old! I had a baby at 42!
I check the sky every day when I come out of work. If it doesn't say "Surrender Dorothy!", I know my first wife isn't in town.
My first grandchild is on the way! Feels great, especially because I know my son and his wife are going to be great parents. They're very responsible and capable. They've got their act together about as well as two kids in their early twenties can, IMO.
Gonna be a girl, they say...
Congratulations!
:-)
Wow. Thanks. I have a few pictures of my kids giving me those same looks.
I just wonder when my girl stopped looking at me that way? When she decided it was okay to tell her mom's side of the family she was in the family way, and not my side?
Yes. I am astounded that I might have a baby kid to play with, whose diaper I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE. lol
I loved all my kids.
I guess I'm trying to understand why I deserve to be exiled from some children's lives after they turn a certain age.
Congrats! My eldest daughter bestowed a grandchild upon me when I was 39! There is nothing better than growing old, or growing up with the grandkids!
Yes, yes, yes. But you're missing the larger picture: Her mother (my ex) never bothered to let me know she was in any kind of medical emergency. Ever. Nor did she let her child's grandparent's know, nor her aunts or uncles. Basically, her mom shut my entire family out.
No one knew, on my side.
Until I happened upon my daughter at the store. Otherwise, no one would have known, because NOT ONE EFFORT WAS MADE to let anyone know that she was dangerously ill.
And now, we have the same thing: She's pregnant and no one on my side has ANY idea how far along, because NO ONE from her side has bothered to inform anyone.
That's a fact, Jack.
That sucks. I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd reach out to her and explain that you want to be a part of her and her baby's life. Now that's she becoming an adult, her mother probably won't have as much influence on your relationship with your girl in the future. Whatever she says or does, I wouldn't take take it too personally right now, after all she is still very young.
That's a shame. Do you not ever get to see her anymore?
Get her alone and tell her how you feel and that you want to know when things happen.
I cannot answer that. You could ask to be included. I have family where they talk around me. It isn't a good feeling. Fortunately, things are hunky with our child, his wife, their children. I suggest investing yourself in their lives and you will reap the benefits. Kids do grow away from their parents. That is good. You don't want them to remain kids. Be patient and kindly - they will respond to that. Our son quotes me with approval from time to time - makes me proud.
Congratulations!! We had our first grandchild under less than perfect circumstances, as well..
Let me tell you when you hold that brand new baby in your arms with tears running down your face you won't care!!!
Congratulations
Not to throw a wrench in the thread, but why are you sitting back waiting for THEM to make the effort?
After 19 years, did you not get the point they weren't?
Why didn't you?
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