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Posted on 04/21/2006 4:03:23 PM PDT by Rca2000
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Hi Rca, how are you doing? Hope everything is looking good for tomorrow.
Anyway, my stories aren't all that funny, but I will share with you the story of the Italian tourist who went to Detroit and wasn't all that familiar with the language.
Here is his story:
One day I go to Detroit to a bigga hotel. In tha morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss's toast. She brings only one piss. I tella I wanna two piss. She says go to the toilet. I say "You no unnastand, I wanna two piss on my plate". She say "You better no piss on the plate, you somma ma bitch". I don't even know the lady and she called me a somma ma bitch.Later, I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tell I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella, "You no unnastand, I wanna fock on the table". She say, "you better not fock on the table, you somma ma bitch".
So I go back to my room in tha hotel and there is no shits ona my bed. I called the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tella me go to the toilet. I say "You no unnastand, I wanna shit ona the bed". He say "You better no shit on the bed, you somma ma bitch".
I go to the check out and the man at the desk say "Peace to you" and I say "Piss ona you too, YOU somma ma bitch. I qonna back to Italy".
I have the song from the Crimson Permanent Assurance skit on my profile. That was with the "Meaning of Life" movie.
I think a pattern is forming...
"Bring Out Your Dead"!
I don't think I've seen "The Meaning of Life".
It must be pretty good if Rockin' says he liked better than Holy Grail.
I guess you liked it a lot too.
Another one to add to my list.
Actually, I didn't care much for "The Meaning of Life." I just liked the "Crimson Permanent Assurance" skit. "The Holy Grail" was the best of the Monty Python films.
We Security Troops were positively evil to each other.
We were talking about choir practice (Pounding beer after a shift) one time and a new guy asked what that was. It being around Christmas, we told him that we always sang a carol for the Flight Chief during Guardmount before Christmas. Asked him if he could sing. Dummy said yes. He practiced for the "solo" for two weeks while we drank beer.
He was halfway through "Silent Night", in the middle of Guardmount before he realized he had no backup singers and the Flight Chief was looking at him like he was nuts. Good thing the boss had a sense of humor like ours or we would have been screwed
LOL!
It's really sad when I'm home on a Friday night, it's 9:39 pm, and I'm tired...
LOL!!!
Hey, how are ya?
LOL! I think I know that guy -- and a bunch of his cousins, too.
Yeah, he's a relative of mine, LOL.
I worked shifts in the AF.
One day I had been bedding a Browning single-shot rifle in order to make it more accurate. The bedding took about 24 hours to set up. I was working 4-12 that day, did the work at the indoor range (not the SP range, the gun club range) and brought the gun into work with me.
I got inside the building and we had a partition set up to serve our "customers" in the computer building.
I was entering the door through the partition and I couldn't see who was there. I came in with that rifle and said, "Its time to shoot all the officers".
A bunch of guys were sitting there in the office drinking coffee with some of the people I worked with. They were from SAC headquarters and were putting some new software on our mainframe.
They all looked at me like I was crazy. Then I had to explain to them that I was just kidding and had just bedded the rifle and had to set it up so the bedding wouldn't leak out.
Turned out that a few of the SAC people were into guns and were very interested in my rifle...
You would have been proud of me today.
I changed the oil in my car.
He, Victoria.
Playing tennis tomorrow?
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