1. A crashed car, any type of crash - even a riding lawn mower, will explode.
2. The main job of the highway patrol is to pull you from the above situation. Do not attempt to get out of your car on your own, you must be pulled free to survive.
3. Criminals are always misunderstood and will flee like rabbits on foot if chased long enough. You can always catch them when they try to climb a fence at the far end of an alley.
4. When tragedy unfolds on the interstate all other cars will slow down to 25 mph and space themselves out so that the highway patrol can zip around them on their 'cycles.
5. Highway Patrolmen always end their shifts laughing hysterically at some comical situation and will freeze sporadically for no apparent reason in the process.
6. Only Ponch and John can wear tight pants. If you wear them you are gay.
7. The only cool highway patrolmen ride motorcycles and wear sunglasses. Only dorky patrolmen drive cars.
8. No matter how many rules you break, cars you blow up, hi-speed chases you make, or expensive prototype police robo-cycles you defeat at taxpayer expense, the chief will never, NEVER suspend you and will always laugh like a loon at the end fo the shift with you.
9. Hot women always dig highway patrolmen in tight pants. Duh.
10. All police probelms are solved in under an hour and involve spectacular non-fatal chases. This is written in the bible somewhere.
You forgot..
11: Female Highway Patrol officers are always hotties.
}:-)4
Here's LIBERTAS' take:
I read today that the old TV series CHiPs is going to be remade as a film, starring That 70’s guy Wilmer Valderrama, who claims to have slept with 1/2 the women in Hollywood under 21. Valderrama, sadly, will be playing the role of Francis Llewellyn Poncherello (aka ‘Ponch’), immortalized by Erik Estrada in the original. Here’s a great t-shirt idea for some enterprising young LIBERTAS reader out there: Si Estrada, No Valderrama!
I always had to laugh at the shots with the stars in "high speed" chases. You could tell that they were going barely fast enough to keep their motorcycles upright.
OMG!!!
I loved CHiPs. I had the biggest crush on Jon - and then that young blond trainee (after it had jumped the shark).
Now I'm going to have that theme song in my head all day!
So when will the "you're a homo" Erik Estrada pic show up..?
1. Will they end the movie with "freeze frame" shots?
2. When I worked at a bank in Miami, I learned that Chips was popular throughout Latin America. We also used the term "Ponch" to mean "Homo."
3. Wilmer Valderrama gets more tail than a French fur trader.
1. Donny Most (Ralph Malph) from Happy Days as a Gene Simmons-esque rocker named Moloch, singing "Devil Take Me."
2. Larry Linville from MASH as a psycho blowing up cars.
3. The "Punk Rock" episode where Estrada sings "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang to a bunch of punks.