Grrr! Susan Wal-Martian Is Back

Fox News ^ | 4/18/06 | Mike Straka

[Millee]

Susan Wal-Martian embodies everything that is annoying in an Oblivion.

At the office she's everybody's "big sister," making sure co-workers are getting to the doctor to get that persistent cough checked out, or commenting on the attire of everyone within sight, drawing attention to people who don't necessarily care for it.

"Wow, that's a terrific sweater Janeane," or "Great tie, Joe."

But perhaps Susan's most annoying quirk is how every story anybody is telling always seems to relate to Susan. It's magical, really.

For instance, if one has a headache, well, Susan has migraines that debilitate her whenever they come on. In fact, Susan "usually" keeps a bottle of green apple shampoo that she can sniff whenever she feels a migraine coming on, but when asked to produce said bottle, she must have left it home.

When Susan has a rash on her back it's actually a case of shingles, and pain in her shoulder is most definitely bursitis or early onset arthritis, something that just happens to run in her family.

And please don't bring up any bathroom ailments,

[Allegra]

Randy! The Rand-Man! Rand-o-rama making copies....

[peacebaby]

uh, I don't think you do.,

it was coke (diet)...all over the screen. thru my nose. now you want some?

[Allegra]

We just got rid of a horrid, narcissisitc, megolomaniac, WEIRD administrative assistant. She just flew out today.

She was seriously unbelievable.

If anybody heard a distant cheer, it was our compound reacting to her departure.

[wallcrawlr]

There is this young dude here...mid 20's. He asks the most inane questions imaginable.


This monday he says to me..."have you been playing with your kids?"

As I shake my head at him (internally) I answered him "yes" .

He's a nice dude but sometimes the questions or comments...are a bit socially awkward.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Now diodn't I tell you not to snort coke because the bubbles burn your nose?

[peacebaby]

my co-worker needs prozac...bad.

and you should see her big toe! It's the size of the head of a logger head turtle!

gross.

[dfwgator]

"I'm going to show her my O-Face."

[retrokitten]

I have a co-worker like this (shockingly, it's not the one getting married) and it's a man. Everything you have done he has done and then some.

You do martial arts as a hobby/fitness, he's grand master karate champion of the universe. My parents used to live in a certain area, he used to live there for 10 years, but can't remember the name of the town. When my husband and I were going to get engaged I got a 45 minute lecture on buying a diamond (90% of what he said was completely false, if there is one thing I know it's buying jewelry). He's 9 credit hours away from getting his degree in fill in the blank. It varies each time you ask him. You like a sport, he played semi-pro, but can't recall the name of the team.

You get the idea.

[Allegra]

and you should see her big toe! It's the size of the head of a logger head turtle!

Ewww.

Does she go around showing it to people?

[peacebaby]

same here...My co-worker is a writer...has written for mags and newspapers. Reviewed Broadway. Been a stand-up comic. Professor. PBS broadcaster.

yawn.

[Allegra]

Everything you have done he has done and then some.

Aw, geez Louise...I dated a guy like that.

Once.

[peacebaby]

yeessssss! And the stupidest sandals. someone should tell her...All I can do is gag.

[retrokitten]

and you should see her big toe! It's the size of the head of a logger head turtle!

LMAO!! Maybe she needs some Lamisil.

[Allegra]

Oh, yes, the "I've been everywhere, I've done everything" types.

I get away from those as fast as I can.

I believe they're afflicted with Obnoxious Personality Disorder.

(I told one that once. He was so annoying, it just slipped out.)

[retrokitten]

The people who sat around him actually started calling him on his BS. He had his seat moved!! He told his boss it was because of "personality conflicts". LOL

[peacebaby]

My narcasistic co-worker was talking to me about herself, and I blurted out that my mantra was "It's not about me."

She never picked up on it.

Rather she said: "Ok, enough about me, let me hear you talk about me."

(kidding)

[knittnmom]

Is she related to the Soap Opera Queen at my office?

[Millee]

You have some interesting co-workers RK! :o)

[confederacy of dunces]

Let's just say that my sister sent me a sign for my office door that says "No Whining".

The outside of the door, not the inside.

[najida]

Enough about me!

Lets talk about me.