One-night stands immoral, say 9 in 10 women

Samantha of Sex and the City, it is fair to say, would not approve. The casual attitude to sexual relations embraced by the most liberated of the characters in the television series turns out not to reflect the views of 21st century women quite as well as widely imagined.

Researchers investigating female attitudes to sex and their sexuality were surprised to find that most women have rather more traditional, conservative views on one-night stands than they expected.

Around nine out of 10 of those questioned felt casual sex was immoral and that those women who engaged in it were not doing so primarily for pleasure.

They said they felt sorry for women who had one-night stands, that they were lacking something in their lives and if they had not simply lost control through drink and drugs they were seeking emotional rather than physical connection.

Dr Sharron Hinchcliffe, a psychologist from the University of Sheffield, presented her findings at the annual conference of the British Psychological Society in Cardiff yesterday.

Dr Hinchcliffe said: "Our results did not fit in with the image we have of today's independent woman who can go out and get sexual fulfilment without the ties of a relationship.

"There was a view that if women had one-night stands they were doing it for reasons other than their own pleasure, more out of a feeling of being desperate, needy or looking for something, or that they had lost control through drink or drugs.

"They said they did it for reasons that were different to those of women in relationships - which they said were for pleasure and to express their love for their partner. They defined it as deviant behaviour.

"They referred to the women as emulating male behaviour. It was certainly the view that it was not the way women should behave.

"Some of the respondents said these things even though they admitted they had had one-night stands themselves. I was surprised at how judgmental they were.

"It makes me question whether women have really gained all the sexual freedom they are supposed to have gained since the Sixties."

Dr Hinchcliffe and colleagues carried out in-depth interviews with 46 women selected from the electoral roll aged 23 to 83, with an average age of 48.

Around 10 per cent of the sample disagreed with the majority view of "no strings" sex as immoral. Dr Hinchcliffe said that if anything the women in their early thirties were more negative about one-night stands than those of women in their fifties.

Some of the participants also expressed concerns about women having casual sex exposing themselves to sexually transmitted disease.

A survey of 1,095 men and women carried out on behalf of Amnesty International UK and published in November found that more than a third of people believed a female rape victim was totally or partially responsible if she had behaved in a flirtatious manner with her attacker.

Dr Tuppy Owens, of the Sexual Freedom Coalition, a group that campaigns for sexual freedom between consenting adults, said: "I don't like the expression 'one-night stand'.

"Two people just banging away at each other can be pretty meaningless and an empty experience, unless there is some passion, care and feeling towards the other person. However, if you go out wondering what might happen, ready to give as well as receive, you might have the most wonderful adventure.

"Perhaps if they had asked the questions in a different way they would have got different answers."

Norman Wells, the director of Family and Youth Concern, said: "It shows that most women are seeking more than the fleeting gratification that temporary sexual relationships can offer.

"Sexual intimacy was never meant to be engaged in outside the context of lifelong union between one man and one woman.

"By divorcing sex from marriage in our thinking and in the sexual education given to children and young people, we are promoting something that runs contrary to our basic longings for stability, permanence and commitment."

I dare say, that your new profile page is NOT going to make you any friends here,among Freeper women!!

(even though some of it is quite funny!!)

201 posted on 03/31/2006 3:38:18 PM PST by Rca2000 ("How can I tell you if something is "safe" if I don't know what you are referring to?")

What, me? Just a little good natured humor, that's all.

Keep the faith, RCA2k! ;-)

Awwww, was the pwoor wittle baby offended????

Until the general societal attitude changes and backs up women, they are spitting in the wind.

203 posted on 03/31/2006 3:40:46 PM PST by TAdams8591 (President Bush's second term is undoing all the good he accomplished in his first term!)

Before the sexual revolution, yours was the presidng attitude toward sex among most men. Not so now and for a long time.

Please take comfort in the fact you are right and many of your fellow modern men are wrong.

204 posted on 03/31/2006 3:44:26 PM PST by TAdams8591 (President Bush's second term is undoing all the good he accomplished in his first term!)

205 posted on 03/31/2006 3:45:16 PM PST by Rca2000 ("How can I tell you if something is "safe" if I don't know what you are referring to?")

"What, me? Just a little good natured humor, that's all. "

Good natured humor doesn't have victims... that would be mean spirited humor.....

AND FYI, there's only one gender left after you toss women aside..... your preference?

207 posted on 03/31/2006 3:49:35 PM PST by Hi Heels (Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?)

How much more can society back up women?

They can get an abortion and the father has no say in the matter.

If a woman says no and a man has sex with her anyway it is rape, a felony.

Its a woman's body and she has the right to choose, blah, blah, blah.

And in your opinion society DOESN'T back up women?

You are very delusional. Off your meds?

I personally think that, if you strip away all of the femilezi shit that has prevailed about sex and relationships over the last 40 years, that people were a LOT happier and more comfortable in those relationships, in those days.

And yes, I know there were the brutish men then, as there are today. But there were a LOT of good men, then. Men who were more than comfortable with a "casual relationship, based on love and companionship," NOT on sex!!(not until marriage or near it, at least.)

In short, MOST people(M and F) were a LOT more moral then. too bad it all had to end with "freedom" for men and women!!

209 posted on 03/31/2006 3:57:11 PM PST by Rca2000 ("How can I tell you if something is "safe" if I don't know what you are referring to?")

"If a woman says no and a man has sex with her anyway it is rape, a felony."

You call THAT "society backing up women???" You don't think you should be arrested for FORCING yourself on a woman?

Let's turn that around.

Damn men. If a man says no and you chop his penis off anyway it's assault! A felony! Dang. When are we gonna get GOOD laws. :(

I think we need Meds all 'round!!

210 posted on 03/31/2006 3:57:31 PM PST by Hi Heels (Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?)

Did you read my whole post? If you did my meaning was quite clear.

Society backs up women.

Ever hear of Affimative Action? Do you think that applies to white males?

Women are a considered a "minority" yet they are over 50% of the population. Doesn't add up, does it. Another example of society backing up women.

The truth hurts. Read my tagline.

I THINK that what he was trying to say, is that if a woman FIRST allows sex with a man, and THEN afterwords claims that it was RAPE. Then, she gets the man arrested. I ASSUME that was what was inferred.

True RAPE is a CRIME, and a true RAPIST should get the DEATH penalty!!

213 posted on 03/31/2006 4:02:18 PM PST by Rca2000 ("How can I tell you if something is "safe" if I don't know what you are referring to?")

By that I meant "the sexual revolution" and the "freedom without responsibility" that came with it.

214 posted on 03/31/2006 4:03:36 PM PST by Rca2000 ("How can I tell you if something is "safe" if I don't know what you are referring to?")

We were discussing sex outside marriage were we not? And you did say it ALL depended on the woman saying no did you not?

That won't be effective until the general norm in society is again that pre and extra-marital sex is wrong, then society will be truly backing up women.

Suffering from a little short-term memory loss, are we?

216 posted on 03/31/2006 4:05:13 PM PST by TAdams8591 (President Bush's second term is undoing all the good he accomplished in his first term!)

217 posted on 03/31/2006 4:06:39 PM PST by Chanticleer (Let us speak courteously, deal fairly, and keep ourselves armed and ready. T. Roosevelt)

I agree with you regarding then vs. now. At least that's true for me.

However, it was the sexual revolution coupled with the feminist movement that so devastatingly changed relationships between men and women in my estimation.

218 posted on 03/31/2006 4:08:32 PM PST by TAdams8591 (President Bush's second term is undoing all the good he accomplished in his first term!)

If we don't, pretty soon the mail order bride contingent shows up with "proof" about how Russian (Asian, whatever) women are better than Ameican women, yada, yada.

Don't look now, but they're already here.

219 posted on 03/31/2006 4:09:13 PM PST by Chanticleer (Let us speak courteously, deal fairly, and keep ourselves armed and ready. T. Roosevelt)

The core has already melted down too far for the emergency coolant to stop the reactor from meltdown now.

(just something I used to say in HS about the moral decay of society)

IOW-- it is WAY too late in the game, for something good like that to happen today. When you have a LOT of CHURCHES rethinking their positions on gay marriage, abortion, etc, to "go along with the masses and "be tolerant", then, I figure it is just too late.

220 posted on 03/31/2006 4:09:53 PM PST by Rca2000 ("How can I tell you if something is "safe" if I don't know what you are referring to?")

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.