Posted on 03/30/2006 9:36:04 PM PST by MadIvan
Samantha of Sex and the City, it is fair to say, would not approve. The casual attitude to sexual relations embraced by the most liberated of the characters in the television series turns out not to reflect the views of 21st century women quite as well as widely imagined.
Researchers investigating female attitudes to sex and their sexuality were surprised to find that most women have rather more traditional, conservative views on one-night stands than they expected.
Around nine out of 10 of those questioned felt casual sex was immoral and that those women who engaged in it were not doing so primarily for pleasure.
They said they felt sorry for women who had one-night stands, that they were lacking something in their lives and if they had not simply lost control through drink and drugs they were seeking emotional rather than physical connection.
Dr Sharron Hinchcliffe, a psychologist from the University of Sheffield, presented her findings at the annual conference of the British Psychological Society in Cardiff yesterday.
Dr Hinchcliffe said: "Our results did not fit in with the image we have of today's independent woman who can go out and get sexual fulfilment without the ties of a relationship.
"There was a view that if women had one-night stands they were doing it for reasons other than their own pleasure, more out of a feeling of being desperate, needy or looking for something, or that they had lost control through drink or drugs.
"They said they did it for reasons that were different to those of women in relationships - which they said were for pleasure and to express their love for their partner. They defined it as deviant behaviour.
"They referred to the women as emulating male behaviour. It was certainly the view that it was not the way women should behave.
"Some of the respondents said these things even though they admitted they had had one-night stands themselves. I was surprised at how judgmental they were.
"It makes me question whether women have really gained all the sexual freedom they are supposed to have gained since the Sixties."
Dr Hinchcliffe and colleagues carried out in-depth interviews with 46 women selected from the electoral roll aged 23 to 83, with an average age of 48.
Around 10 per cent of the sample disagreed with the majority view of "no strings" sex as immoral. Dr Hinchcliffe said that if anything the women in their early thirties were more negative about one-night stands than those of women in their fifties.
Some of the participants also expressed concerns about women having casual sex exposing themselves to sexually transmitted disease.
A survey of 1,095 men and women carried out on behalf of Amnesty International UK and published in November found that more than a third of people believed a female rape victim was totally or partially responsible if she had behaved in a flirtatious manner with her attacker.
Dr Tuppy Owens, of the Sexual Freedom Coalition, a group that campaigns for sexual freedom between consenting adults, said: "I don't like the expression 'one-night stand'.
"Two people just banging away at each other can be pretty meaningless and an empty experience, unless there is some passion, care and feeling towards the other person. However, if you go out wondering what might happen, ready to give as well as receive, you might have the most wonderful adventure.
"Perhaps if they had asked the questions in a different way they would have got different answers."
Norman Wells, the director of Family and Youth Concern, said: "It shows that most women are seeking more than the fleeting gratification that temporary sexual relationships can offer.
"Sexual intimacy was never meant to be engaged in outside the context of lifelong union between one man and one woman.
"By divorcing sex from marriage in our thinking and in the sexual education given to children and young people, we are promoting something that runs contrary to our basic longings for stability, permanence and commitment."
If they are still this bitter, no wonder they have a hard time finding anyone. They need to grow up, let it go, take their lumps where they have to, sort out what they can, and get on with their lives.
If their prospects are as dim as they relate, then maybe, as a friend once put it, they should try fishing in a better part of the creek.
On the 'horrorshow' end of the spectrum, I overheard a young woman years ago, talking with one of her friends about how she was going to have three kids by three different fathers.
As she laid out her plan, the idea was that each father would be more likely to pay support for one kid, and that she would get more that way than hitting up one guy for three kids.
She planned to quit work and go on welfare.
Thankfully, that is a horrific exception to the rule.
But the irony is that she died in an apartment fire, when one of her welfare neighbors was making meth and screwed up. Grandparents are raising the surviving children.
Thankfully, this mindset is still an exception to the rule.
As for belly buttons on parade, and slutty looking wardrobes, try finding better at your local chain store, where a lot of kids shop. This, too, will go the way of Nehru shirts, bellbottoms, platform shoes, and the leisure suit.
Odds are better than 9 out of 10 that you can get laid if you want.
LOL! At first, I was really bashful about that, until I realized that God wants a man and woman to "cleave together and become one flesh", within the bonds of marriage, of course. But what better place to 'shop' for a prospective mate?
The 'club scene' is definitely not it.
LOL! Two night stands are better than one ;)
Amen
Sad...isn't it? I've even seen posters who try to enlist God's Word to back up their bully tactics to demean women to less than dog status.
Those who do this....have deceived themselves...... then try to plow down anyone who disagrees with them. All I can say is ...they must be very miserable living in a delusional world of their own.... and need lots of prayer.
That soundbyte could have happened in just about any western civilization. There are messed up people everywhere.
Actually, I was commenting on the "Parent of the Year" and the 16 yr. old. ;)
If you respect YOUR opinion enought, YOU need to POST IT
LOL you never read my post to you did you, tut tut.
I never even new there was a ban against Internet dating websites
Why do these threads turn into....women are sluts and whores if they have sex outside marriage???? Ugh!!!
Read it. Yes. Just giving my full opinion as I really don't have an interest in this thread. Sorry...
I hope that poor kid has gotten out of that environment and into something more stable. Yikes!
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