Although a thread can be used for a lot of laughs, and this one can too, I'm actually looking for honest reports of what it was like, when only the Husband, who enjoyed the fruits of two incomes, suddenly became the sole bread winner.
Thanks ahead of time!!
Do it. :) I am a stay at home mom. I have been for 10 yrs. To help out from time to time I did consulting work or kept someone's infant. The stress of working and being a fulltime mom are too much and is a strain on the marriage. My youngest is 4, soon to be 5 and next year I have plans to go back to work, teaching. Your wife can do the same. Just clean up your bills, while she is working bankroll as much as you can. But the rewards for your family life will be worth it all. Best wishes.
You'll be 60+ when next one leaves...prepare to work until death...
We moved. Nice home, but newer, more neighborhood, further away from the city, and lots less expensive. Kept cars (we always did that). Now, with the Muffin turning 7 and the Biscuit almost 5, I work PT as a consultant; mostly from home, but can travel a bit with help from my dear husband.
Best. Decision. Ever.
Good luck.
Go ahead and order some desk calendars for work, say until 2033, or so.
I'm a househusband due to my disability but my wife has a good career. We don't live high on the hog or anything but a little frugality goes a long way.
I wish my wife would have a baby. It may not be strictly conventional but I think having either parent at home is a good thing. I know I would be thrilled to have a child to care for.
WIFE WITH A GREAT JOB - Lots of money coming in!
WIFE AT HOME WITH CHILDREN - PRICELESS!
I suspect that your wife is and will be a great mom. Imagine how much better your children will turn out with mom at home. The issue is how much better the change will be for your children. That's the only issue. What's good for you or your wife is secondary.
Time to start checking on public housing.
Do I detect a bit of a whine there? If so, stop it now. Be proud your wife wants to raise your kids rather than shuffle them off to some uncaring babysitter. No one can raise your children better than you or your wife - especially since you've gone through the agonies of infertility. Buck up and be the dad.
As for any perceived financial crisis... good gawd, you're comparing your children to some paycheck. Again, buck up and be a dad. So what, you won't be able to afford to go out to eat and party every night or buy that new techno gadget with all the bells and whistles... instead you will have memories and good times with the family.
If you can get over the zeroes on the paycheck long enough to set a budget and stick to it, you can still enjoy life. You wife won't be raking up mileage on her car, not to mention the price of gas, by not going to work. She won't have the lunch expense or the clothing expense or the grooming expense or the office gift giving expense or the hundred other expenses connected with work. Call the insurance company to take her car off "to work". She'll be able to make healthy meals at home rather than being rushed and being forced to bring home pricey take out.
You have the kids for 18 years. In the scheme of things, that's not long. It's over before you know it. You can not get that time back. It's not just staying home to raise them when they're little, but it's even more important to be home when they're teens. If she wants to stay home when they're in high school, thank her because they'll be all the better for it.
Now, go hug your wife and support any decision she makes.
By the time a working mom adds up the 'extra' expenses of daycare, gas to get to work, babysitters for those times you work over, wardrobe, the stress of dealing with a job and raising a little one....well-you may actually save money in the long run. And the benefits of having mommy at home is beyond compare.
I work from home, the kids have since grown and gone, but if there is a way for her to do some work from home that would be the ticket too. Kids=FIRST priority :) Good Luck to you and your wife~
Number one, do you have health insurance that can cover the birth and inevidiable trips to the doctors for the toddlers? If you do not and she does through work, I would suggest you stay home and raise the kids!
However, if you have a good income and health insurance, then I would say encourage her desire to stay at home.
Be thankful that your wife *wants* to spend time with your children. My supervisor, in contrast, dumps her little boys at daycare even on her day off.
Do what is necessary to be the best parents possible. Sacrifice, scrimp, etc, and mom is right for wanting to stay home. I hope you fully support it.
Dr. Seuss in a nice cozy living room is better than digital cable on the bigscreen in the "media room" for them, anyway!
If I could give you a word of advice it would be to take care of the finances and pay the household bills together. That way you can both be on the same page and work together to make sure that ends meet. After all, raising your own children is a most worthy cause.
Good luck to you both, and God bless.
This is an ease one, dude.
Let your wife quit and stay home and raise the family and go find a career oriented woman that doesn't want to birth any babies and bring her in as income replacement.
Remember: a working wife/concubine is like a pumping oil well.....the money just keeps rolling in.
I would hope, that after 10 yrs of marriage, that you would know enough about your spouse, to not need advice from an anonymous forum. Don't you two talk?
That is how it should be.
Your kids need your wife to care for them, teach them, nurture them and love them, not some day care provider to house them.
They do not need a big house and fancy cars.
Just know that you are doing the right thing for your children. My husband and I have that arrangement, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Fourteen years ago my wife decided to stay home with the birth of our second daughter. It was the best thing that ever happened to us as a family. We relied on each other and God to get us through. With a long journey still ahead, we are expecting #8 in a couple of weeks, we continue to rely on God to provide.
I no longer golf or do many of the "fun things" I did when younger, but I really do NOT miss them. My family IS my life.
Good luck.