ZOT To the Tune of $250 and how You can help Bush

Cliffton Prosper

[ClifftonProsper]

TULIPMANIA

The price for tulips is about to go UP, UP, UP!

Why?

Because, in this simple but lovely flower is the cure for fat.

You see, it has been found, that if you EAT the bulb of the tulip, you LOOSE any sense of desire for FOOD for UPTO 24 HOURS!

Now, here is how you can become rich.

The secret of the tulip will not be a secret for long. Soon, every fat women will want to get her hands on the tulip bulb. And soon, every tulip bulb there is will be wanton to find. There will be those LOOKING for tulip bulbs (LOTS!), and there will be those WITH tulip bulbs ($$$).

And, you want to be one of those WITH tulip bulbs, now… …don’t you?

Here is how it works.

But first let me introduce myself.

Hi. My name is Bill. I’m a friend of a family in need. And I’ve been asked to help raise money for a real great guy of that family who needs some help. I consider him part of my family. Let me tell you about it.

There is an organization called the Alan Greenspan Commemorative Emergency Fund for Bush. You don’t need to worry as to what this has to do with tulips, just know it’s all about helping a guy whose “polls” are in the toilet. Polls is a Mexican word, the double ll is like a “y”, and as you know, Mexican is becoming really important. In fact, let me tell you - Mexicans love this guy so much they put bumper stickers on their car, “Viva Bush!”. Can you believe it? What a friend of the people of the soil!

And, if you lingo like Bush does (this guy is just wonderful – he even speaks MEXICAN!) - and if you are in a world of hurt that he’s got himself into, then you know you don’t want your poys in the toilet because they belong somewhere else. If you know what I mean. Because I know what it’s like, you don’t even need to ask.

I mean, think about it - we’ve all had a relative in a world of hurt, be it gambling debts, or, a brother like mine who was a drug addict, or, got even getting oneself into trouble with some shady real estate deals. Sexually transmitted diseases.

Or, someone like Bush where their situation is, well, that nobody really even likes you anymore . . .

You get the idea. And you should care.

I mean he just doesn’t want to go on American Idol because he doesn’t feel comfortable trying to explain things in front of other people much less sing and dance in front of them . . . the important thing is that by helping someone in need, you can also become rich.

Here’s how it works.

You give $250.00… That’s right. Just 250, I say, 250 U.S. George Washington dollars. You put this in an envelope. Send the letter in an envelope to “White House, attn: It’s An Emergency, Washington D.C.”. Don’t worry about the address…

…. it’s going to get there (here).

… because we have lots of friends in the post office department.

If you are writing a check, make it out to “Emergency - Bush”…

Cash is also accepted, of course.

What happens next?

Here is the insider poop.

We all now know the inside dope on the tulip futures. AND…, we got a connection with a Dutch Firm (competitors would KILL to know their NAME!)… We got the goods on the tulips. We got the people in the right places for the right kind of connections, if you know what I mean. We got a port in Long Beach. And we got a Chinaman whose going to make it all happen.

And… we got a canal. We’ll “we” don’t. Some Chinese do, good business men. And they know some folks in business with the United Arab Emirates. One doesn’t speak Arab, and the other doesn’t speak Chinese – but they BOTH know Mexican! And, you got it! Bush SPEAKS Mexican! I not talking chicken change here.

This is kind ‘a “secret stuff”. So don’t tell anybody.

I’m not talking root canal. The big canal.

Like, as in, “Panama Hats”.

All we need is a little funding. And that’s where you come in. And that’s where you can help.

Help the Party. You like a Party, don’t you? I do. I love a Party.

It’s all about helping others. It’s, a good, thing.

It’s all about the futures.

Kind ‘a like the cattle futures.

A bridge to your futures.

Put the money in the envelope.

And we will elope.

Thanks.

Thank you.

God Bless you.

B.C.

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You thought that was the end of this message.

But it isn’t.

Because there is something else.

It has to do with the Capitol HILL-ary DATABASE.

And you.

When we get your letter, and we add your name, address (and home phone number! Don’t forget that!) to the DATABASE, … then, we send you a letter.

On the top is a special message, and under it, 12 blank lines followed by some instructions.

Take 12 photo copies of the letter.

I will explain, in a minute.

You fill in the 12 blank lines with 12 names of people, friends, love ones, business partners, acquaintances you know. You send $1 dollar to the Emergency – Bush fund. Then, write in each name you listed from your “master copy” on the top of each photo copy you made, under your name.

Mail each photo copy to each of the 12 people (you keep your “master”, this will be your receipt).

And the letter explains on the bottom. That each person to whom you mail the letter to, is also sent a copy of the letter to 12 new names, and so on. Along with one buck.

This letter which we will provide you with, has a special prayer of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Bush is a devotee of Our Lady. She has special powers, and she’s a Mexican which ties her to the soil and brings the fruits of the harvest to your home. Believe me, there are all kinds of these fruits.

The prayer, with Her Blessing and the blessing of the Church, will bring hundreds of thousands of people to the streets. In fact, the phenomena is happening right now. This blessing will bless your home, and bring fruitful attendance to the Church which will bloom with a million more flowers for Our Lady each and every 6 months depending on how many children they have. This great mystery will bring you a special gift.

You see, you send the letter out to 12 people. They each send it out to 12 more people. And so on. And so on.

And, after 48 months, $1,512.00 dollars comes in the mail. Yeap.

It called “DOLLAR WISE AVERGING”.

Trust me.

God bless you.

B.C.

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You thought that was the end of this message.

But it isn’t.

Because there is something else.

Imagine this.

You pick up a Megabucks play slip now. Choose 6 of the 42 numbers available. (Or ask for “Quick Pick” and let me pick ‘em for you!). AND THEN… on Saturday night, you sit down next to the phone. To wait. To wait for the MEGABUCKS GUY to call you. Your ticket is clutched tightly in your hand. The numbers are picked… Your numbers! And suddenly, … your life has changed. MEGABUCKS GUY calls YOUR number! He’s got that “Arkansas accent”. That will tip you off. IT’S MEGABUCKS GUY! YES SIR! He’s going to ask you (the SECRET TIP OFF that YOU’RE A WINNER!) “How would you like to be rich?”. And then, you say the MAGIC KEY! “B.C., GIVE IT TO ME!” - that’s the KEY.

And, SUDDENLY, YOU’RE RICH!

Could it happen?

Absolutely!

But…

… you have to do more than just imagine.

You have to play.

Wanna’ play?

All you need is the LOTTERY TICKET.

Here’s how you get it.

Mail one buck, that’s right, ONE BUCK, only ONE BUCK… to:

“COSCO, 1008 Chow Fun, No. 7, Shanghai 11, P.R.C. by way of Mexico – Emergency – Bush”

Within no time, you will get your LOTTERY TICKET by way of the “canal”. You mark off your six numbers. Or just mark “Quick Pick” and let me pick’em for you. Then you mail it to: “White House, attn: It’s An Emergency, Washington D.C.”. Add $1.00 for processing and handling (if you are writing a check, make it out to “Emergency - Bush”).

Don’t worry about the address…

…. it’s going to get there (here).

… because we have lots of friends in the post office department.

Thanks.

B.C.

… no, … wait.

……..Ever hear of the CHURCH of MY-INTOLOGY?

Just curious.

You may want to listen. Let me tell you about this.

There are lots (LOTS!) of people in this world, with problems.

You know. Problems. And… they need SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE.

You can provide that guidance.

Yes. You. I heard some of you are praying at Bush. At it moves my heart. I think you are just the kind’a person that I want to talk to. To tell you, yes, you can provide that guidance.

But first… you need a degree of thelogic! I can send you one of those.

Put $450 dollars into an envelope (don’t forget your return address!) and send the letter to “White House, attn: It’s An Emergency, Washington D.C.”. Don’t worry about the address… You know the rest.

God Bless you,

Bill

[fallujah-nuker]

ZOT!

[warsaw44]

wow - King of the Moonbats!
nice to meet ya'.

[Texas_Jarhead]

IBTZ?

[A message]

Lot of effort writing something that will surely be deleted.

[FixedandDilated]

There must be a national Haldol shortage.

[nodumbblonde]

IBTZ?

[Lurker]

BUBYE...

l

[hiredhand]

We hope you enjoyed the ride while you were here at FreeRepublic!

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

[Hexenhammer]

What the hell was all of that?!?

[capydick]

c-ya

[hiredhand]

VKs needed here. :-)

[Lunatic Fringe]

[Mom MD]

ibtz

[A message]

Surprised this is still here. Might as well join the fun.

Incoming Zot.

[CindyDawg]

I thought it was funny:')

[Felicity Fahrquar]

And I thought by now that SOMEBODY (well, somebody else) would have mentioned how bloody toxic tulips are, especially the bulbs....

[Killborn]

You have exposed our secret. Now we'll have to destroy you.

A shame. You are slightly amusing.

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