Posted on 03/21/2006 1:18:16 PM PST by SirLinksalot
COMMENTARY
By Andy Dehnart
On a recent American Idol 5 performance show, host Ryan Seacrest asked judge Paula Abdul to compare this year's finalists to past groups.
Heres what she said: Ryan, I think this is the most unique, well-diverse, most-talented and most talked about top 12 that weve ever had. Theres not a day that people dont come up to me and everyone has different favorites, so its anyones game, and its exciting as can be.
Paula said 50 words, but she actually said not much at all. In Paulas universe, stating the obvious incoherently qualifies as answering a question that demands subjective, critical analysis. This isnt really a surprise, as she does this all the time.
A few weeks ago, Ryan asked her why the show is more popular this year. Paula said, I think weve a gained a larger audience. Yes, Paula, that is the definition of more popular.
In fact, Paula Abdul rarely answers the question just as she rarely offers a negative critique of a performance. If she does offer some kind of criticism, she buries those comments inside so many layers of fluff and drivel that it requires detailed analysis just to figure out what she really said. After shes done, she claps her palms together as if her nails were drying, or as if she were a seal still learning how to perform. Its absolutely maddening. Based on her lack of actual judging, shes not even fit to be a judge.
Except Paula Abdul is the most important judge American Idol has.
When judging the contestants performances, Simon Cowell basically says something like, You really sucked just then, mate while Paula tends to say, Puppies kittens bunnies teddy bears not the best song choice for me but thats okay, sweetie, sunshine happiness flowers.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
I'd be interested in Paula's strategy for the war on terrorism. Hollywood people always seem so smart. I bet she has lots of good ideas!
Bingo. As soon as she opens her mouth, you know a whole lot of useless crap is coming out.
and we wonder what's wrong with the united states.
MSNBC tackles the serious issues.
"It just wasn't the right song choice for you, but you look stunning!" Ping!
Paula is a great smurf I don't watch the show but how many of the finalists is she banging?
She's always been lightweight in her commentary, but it almost seems as if she's acquired some sort of substance abuse problem this season, considering the glassy eyes and off-the-wall, nonsensical statements.
Paula seems to have a good heart, but you're right. Her commentary is
I think she's drunk most of the time.
Paula is a wonderful melon in a salad of cornflakes and pizza.
As long as she doesn't get drunker than me!
Simon is at his best during the intial auditions. The funniest one ever was when he said to one guy, "You look like the Incredible Hulk's wife."
drunk is what the poor people engage in. she's probably being well served by her physician for prescribable ailments, bad hair, nail chips, that kind of stuff.
LOL!
People who criticize her should consider this though... she truly is important because when Simon is mean, she often comes back at him in defense of contestants, making Simon look mean. This could ultimately make people change their votes based on her reactions and the general unlikability of Simon. (Personally, I love Simon).
She is just too damn fun not to have on the show.
It's not new. I think she's been drunk most of the last 4 seasons. She gets drunker as the season goes on. Usually when they get to the top 5 or 6 she's dancing like a drunk prom date through everyone's performance.
Is there a theme for tonight's show?
It wouldn't be the same without her rambling comments. When she was talking about the cornflake and the melon Simon had been whispering something to her and was cracking up, too.
She'll never leave the show. She's just too entertaining.
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